Thanks for the laughs (and winces), KMG. 🙂
Category Archives: humour
Let us consummate the revolution! [Guest opinion.] I am a nice-looking, youngish high-school teacher (of English, if you must know), and almost every year at least one underage girl will make it clear to me that she would like to have sex with me. Or would like to do whatever this generation says isn’t sex, but which my father’s generation thought was.
I always turn these sweet offers down. I am not eager to lose my job and never be able to work in any school system again except in Thailand. I am not eager to lose my family. I am not eager to go to prison. I am not eager to spend my golden years with neighbors who are warned that a sex-criminal crouches slavering in their midst. And I am not eager to be questioned every time there’s an AMBER Alert.
But I do wonder … I am forbidden by law to enjoy the company of these girls in ways that would be — well, at least not illegal — in just a few short years. This strikes me as age-discrimination. And not only that, but I am required by law to engage in age-discrimination.
The girls are encouraged by law to engage in age-discrimination, since they may cavort freely with lads their own age who may be just using them for rough exploratory purposes, whereas I am gentle and experienced. They are deemed wise enough and mature enough to choose young partners, and (unbeknownst to their parents) to obtain medications and devices to support their cavorting, as well as (also unbeknownst to their parents) surgeries should the medications or devices fail or be left forgotten at a girlfriend’s home. But the law wishes them to discriminate against me. Solely on the basis of their age, they are deemed not to be wise enough or mature enough to cavort with me.
Surely, this is a situation that cannot long endure in our discrimination-sensitive age. Love equality will surely make its force felt soon. Perhaps someone from the Cato Institute will take the lead. None of us is getting any younger. [Arnold Zeck] Ω
Spot on, and funny. The laws regarding age of consent are not reason-based but purely emotion-based.
Comedy gold! 🙂
Saudi Arabia was elected to the United Nations Commission on the Status of Women.
The addition of the Gulf nation was first flagged by UN Watch, a nongovernmental body that monitors the United Nations. The Commission on the Status of Women’s main mission is to assess the challenges to reaching gender inequality, according to the U.N. website.
“Electing Saudi Arabia to protect women’s rights is like making an arsonist into the town fire chief,” Hillel Neuer said.
Neuer called the election “absurd,” noting that all women in Saudi Arabia “must have a male guardian who makes all critical decisions on her behalf, controlling a woman’s life from her birth until death. Saudi Arabia also bans women from driving cars.”
Saudi Arabia, a top U.S. ally, is also on the U.N. Human Rights Council.
Can’t say that I care; I hate the U.N. anyway, and have long done so. Just more proof of its absurdity…
Gotta love the Babylon Bee… 🙂
*Update: I always loved this scene in PCU:
U.S.—America’s progressives have arranged yet another nationwide demonstration dubbed the “Day Without A Protest” demonstration, in which participants will stay home and not angrily protest anything and everything that provokes their ire, a liberal spokesperson announced Wednesday.
“The country will be forced to see exactly what it looks like to enjoy a whole day without people protesting in their towns and cities,” the representative for the protest told reporters.
“Soon, the nation will realize just how terrible it is to suffer through 24 hours of peace and civility in our cities’ streets.”
At publishing time, the “Day Without A Protest” announcement had turned violent, igniting riots and lootings throughout the nation.