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Patriaphorisms

(Note: these are aphorisms we’ve coined, whether here or elsewhere.  For ones others in the manosphere have coined, that we think are worth noting, see here.)

German Shepherds

“German Shepherds are good dogs; they do as they’re trained.” Yes, they’re good dogs trained to do funny things like scare the shit out of hippies

Freedom

“Free everything” is a disguise for “might makes right”. There’s a reason it was libertarians who invented TANSTAAFL.

Finishing

I could quibble with the term “finish”, but only because if the sex is good enough, “finish” doesn’t necessarily mean finish. Although for most mortals, “finishing” again is usually pretty close to being finished.

Dick Pictures

Think about what you want your dick pic to say. Mine portrays strength and honor.

On modern women thinking they can run the world better than men

Modern women don’t even know how to be women, yet they think they can be men…

On Aunt Haley’s affection for sodomites

Homos, homos, homos! Much adored at Halo’s!
casting down their golden crowns around the glory hole;
Christian men be careful when you mention holy homos,
lest you be banned from commenting. Oh noes!

On Pseudonyms

Refusing to obscure your identity is the new facial tattoo.

On the word ‘mistress’

Remember that the word ‘mistress’ is somewhere between ‘mister’ and ‘mattress’.

On stupid fat chicks thinking they’re hot

An inflated sense of self-worth accompanies so many with inflated bodies. It reveals the connectedness of body and soul – fat body, fat pride.

On conversation

Hypocrisy is the Vaseline of social intercourse.

On marriage

Marriage is only for the religiously committed (or for those who SHOULD be committed!)

On smartphones

A smartphone effectively doubles the thickness of a woman’s bitch shield.

On politics

Political ‘neo-‘s suck, whether neo-cons, neo-libertarians, neo-Nazis; I can’t think of a single political case where ‘neo-‘ is a good thing.

On blogging

Blogging is like masturbation: The more you do, the more you want to do. The less you do, the less you want to do.

On force-feeding the red-pill to those not ready for it

Don’t cast red pills before swine.

On the death of the Glorious Natural Pelt

It’s surely no coincidence that the most childish generation of adult young women thus far tend to resemble little girls between their legs.

Women should look like women, and not little girls, in terms of follicle count in a particular place. #ConfessYourUnpopularOpinion

On the “friend zone”

It’s called ‘the friend zone’, but those who come to see they’re in it, realize the other isn’t really that much of a friend, if one at all.

On high maintenance wives

High-maintenance wives make daughters just like themselves. Heaven help the man foolish enough to fall for one…

On evangelical gals considering themselves ‘Daughters of the King’

A woman who likes to say she’s a ‘daughter of the King’ means she thinks she’s a princess. There’s no other way to interpret that mentality.

On neo-cons’ soldier-worship

“They died so we can enjoy the freedoms we have today” sounds too much like an echo of “He died for our sins”.

On modern young women’s dress, demeanour, and comportment

The only way to tell apart a clubgoing skank from a streetwalker at night (in summertime) in the city is that the clubber is busy looking down at her iPhone.

On women in combat

Women in combat? Why not? Let the Empire start losing wars, and kill off as many combat-volunteer women as possible! Fuck ‘em! #winwin

On opposition to trans fats

Opposition to trans fats is fat-phobic and cis-normative!

On veganism and vegetarianism

Vegan cheese is an oxymoron. Either you have a cultured milk product or you don’t. End of story. Ground cashews do not constitute cheese.

If, as per this website, vegans think dairy is rape, then ‘vegan cheese’ is ‘simulated rape’, or ‘rape fantasy’. 50 Shades of Veganism?

If, as vegetarians say, “Meat is murder”, then veggie hot dogs, Quorn, Tofurkey, are ‘simulated murder’ or ‘murder fantasies’.

On aging

One great thing about growing older, is one feels less of a need to aggressively overassert; no more need for pissing / dick-waving contests.

On men referring to their sexual equipment as ‘junk’

Why do men, esp. young guys, refer to their equipment as ‘junk’? Stop it. Unless it’s not working properly; in that case seek medical help.

On ‘controversy’

‘Controversy’ is just a way of saying that Leftists / liberals don’t like something someone said/did; doesn’t mean anything other than that.

On the popularity of ‘You Only Live Once’, abbreviated, among Millennials

‘YOLO’ denies the resurrection. Seriously, what’s with kids today and their ‘YOLO’-ing…

On why parents should have lots of children

Parents should always aim for really big families, so that it matters less what happens with any single one of their brood.

On Chinese people and reproduction.

“Sex is a traditionally a taboo topic in China, leaving some adults with no idea how procreation works.” 1.4 billion Chinese suggests otherwise…

Never trust any supposedly Chinese method of birth control; it clearly doesn’t work…

On the ‘war’ between the sexes

That we should use metaphors of “war” and “battle” between men and women is an indication of how far down a very bad road we have gone.

 

12 responses to “Patriaphorisms

  1. Master Po

    December 6, 2011 at 3:05 pm

                                        _______
                                  _____         O
                              ____               \
                           ___      T H I S       |
                           \_                     |
                             \_      E N D       / 
                             | \_               |
                            /    \_   U P      /
                           /       \_         |
                          /          \_      /
                         /\_           \_   |
                        /   \_         | \_/
                       /      \_      /
                      /         \_   |
                     /            \_/
                    /              /
                   /              /
                  /              /
                 /              /
                /              /
               /              /
              /              /
             /              /
            /              /
           /              /
          /              /
    \    /              /
     |  /              /
     | /              /
     |/              /
                    /
                   |
                    \
                     \
                      |
                      |
                      /
    __               /
      \             /
       \           /
        \         /
         \       /
          \_____/
    
     
  2. Will S.

    December 6, 2011 at 10:11 pm

    Whoa; awesome! 🙂

     
  3. Svar

    December 8, 2011 at 12:10 pm

    What the fuck? You’re breaking rule number 2: No Balls. How many fucking times do I have to say that?! No face, no balls, no mass-texting.

    Other than that, that is quite an impressive dick pic.

     
  4. Master Po

    December 9, 2011 at 1:46 pm

    No Balls.

    How else are you going to show proportion? I guess I could have placed a delicate female hand on there, but, hey, ascii-art is tough enough…

    Geesh.

     
  5. Will S.

    December 9, 2011 at 3:01 pm

    LOL!

     
  6. Master Po

    December 9, 2011 at 6:34 pm

    Okay… here’s one with balls cropped…

                                                _______
                                          _____         O
                                      ____               \
                                   ___      T H I S       |
                                   \_                     |
                                    |\_      E N D       / 
                                   /   \_               |
                                  /      \_   U P      /
                                 /         \_         |
                                /            \_      /
                               /\_             \_   |
                              /   \_           / \_/
                             /      \_        /
                            /         \_     |
                           /            \_  /
                          /               \/
                         /                /
                        /      _.---.    /
                     __/      /  / -/\  /
                    (_(_)    /_ /   \ ./
                   __/_     (_.      ---_________
                  (__(_)             .
                 __/_               /  W R I S T
                (__(_)             /      O F
               __/                /     W I F E
              (_(_)              /__
               /                /   -------_________
              /                /
             /                /
            /                /
           /                /
          /                /
    \    /                /
     |  /                /
     | /                /
     |/                /
                      /
                     /
                    |
                     \
                      \
    
    
     
  7. Svar

    December 9, 2011 at 7:44 pm

    Why does your wife have such a thick, masculine wrist, Master Po?

     
  8. Matthew

    December 9, 2011 at 8:26 pm

    Winning.

     
  9. Master Po

    December 10, 2011 at 10:39 am

    Nah… just delicate fingers.

     
  10. Svar

    December 10, 2011 at 5:33 pm

    You know… Master Po is on to something… taking a dick pic where there’s a woman’s hand on your cock and then sending that to another/several other women…. that’s preselection at it’s finest!!

     
  11. stolywizard

    September 2, 2014 at 11:52 am

    I love this blog already. The comments about young women “looking like little girls between their legs” and men “calling their genitals junk- stop or seek medical attention,” both brought me to a point of zeitgeist revelation. I’m gay, so I don’t see what young women are doing with their pubic region, but I assume they’re shaving it clean ( I don’t look at straight porn, either). I agree, this seems childish in some way. Do these women’s husbands want a little girl or a woman with pubic hair? I thought women wanted respect and equality, anyway. Additionally, the boys referring to their genitalia as junk is disheartening. When I was younger, we referred to them as family jewels. Do these shaved women and junk toting men indicate a social climate change? I think it does. The details can be worked out and explained later. Bravo, a great blog, BRAVO!!!

     
  12. Will S.

    September 2, 2014 at 7:39 pm

    Welcome, stolywizard. Glad you like it!

     

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