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Category Archives: Life is stranger than fiction

If You Aren’t Jesus, Trying to Walk on Water May Turn out Badly

Reblogged from Zwinglius Redivivus:

Indeed, you may be eaten.

Crazy pentebabbleists.

 

Consummating the revolution

In the vein of this post, found the following at TLD; no dedicated URL for it, so I’m reposting it in its entirety here:

Let us consummate the revolution! [Guest opinion.] I am a nice-looking, youngish high-school teacher (of English, if you must know), and almost every year at least one underage girl will make it clear to me that she would like to have sex with me. Or would like to do whatever this generation says isn’t sex, but which my father’s generation thought was.

I always turn these sweet offers down. I am not eager to lose my job and never be able to work in any school system again except in Thailand. I am not eager to lose my family. I am not eager to go to prison. I am not eager to spend my golden years with neighbors who are warned that a sex-criminal crouches slavering in their midst. And I am not eager to be questioned every time there’s an AMBER Alert.

But I do wonder … I am forbidden by law to enjoy the company of these girls in ways that would be — well, at least not illegal — in just a few short years. This strikes me as age-discrimination. And not only that, but I am required by law to engage in age-discrimination.

The girls are encouraged by law to engage in age-discrimination, since they may cavort freely with lads their own age who may be just using them for rough exploratory purposes, whereas I am gentle and experienced. They are deemed wise enough and mature enough to choose young partners, and (unbeknownst to their parents) to obtain medications and devices to support their cavorting, as well as (also unbeknownst to their parents) surgeries should the medications or devices fail or be left forgotten at a girlfriend’s home. But the law wishes them to discriminate against me. Solely on the basis of their age, they are deemed not to be wise enough or mature enough to cavort with me.

Surely, this is a situation that cannot long endure in our discrimination-sensitive age. Love equality will surely make its force felt soon. Perhaps someone from the Cato Institute will take the lead. None of us is getting any younger. [Arnold Zeck]  Ω

Spot on, and funny. The laws regarding age of consent are not reason-based but purely emotion-based.

 

Dead morbidly obese people being cremated burn out of control, so stop cremating them

‘Overly obese’ body sparks Ohio funeral home fire

A crematorium in Ohio caught fire while burning the remains of an “overly obese” body, according to the owner.

Don Catchen said the corpse caused flames to engulf one of his units in the city of Cincinnati.

The fat in the body burned at a higher temperature, prompting the blaze, said the city fire chief.

This isn’t the first time I’ve read a story like this; there were a pair of them in 2012:

Dead obese woman had so much body fat she set the building on fire during her cremation

Austrian crematorium officials have blamed a deceased woman’s obesity for causing a blaze which had to be tackled by firefighters.

Firemen in the southern city of Graz were covered in thick sticky soot as they tried to prevent the blaze from taking hold of the building.

The case has been widely reported in Austrian media, including in the ORF – the country’s equivalent of our BBC – and has ignited calls for a weight limit on bodies to protect against future fires.

Surge in Obesity Sparks Crematorium Blazes

The crematorium employee in the western German town of Hamelin took a last look at the coffin before pushing it inside the furnace. This was the third coffin he had processed on the morning of January 13, and the body itself weighed over 200 kilograms (440 pounds). Of that, only two kilograms of ashes were supposed to remain after cremation. But, 15 minutes later, flames shot out of the crematorium’s 10-meter-high (33-foot-high) stainless-steel chimney, and parts of it began to melt.

Unable to bring the fire under control, the employee called the fire department. Firemen determined that the smoking chimney was glowing at 600 degrees Celsius (1,100 degrees Fahrenheit). They cooled it from the side and used an infrared camera to track the spread of heat through the building. It took four hours to reduce the body in the furnace to ash.

Anyway, cremation is for heathens; we Christians should avoid it, as Chesterton hinted.

That way, we’ll never cause embarrassment of the above kind to our living relatives after we’ve passed…

As for the law, we really ought to ban huge people from being cremated…

 

Saudi Arabia elected to UN women’s rights commission

Comedy gold! 🙂

Saudi Arabia was elected to the United Nations Commission on the Status of Women.

The addition of the Gulf nation was first flagged by UN Watch, a nongovernmental body that monitors the United Nations. The Commission on the Status of Women’s main mission is to assess the challenges to reaching gender inequality, according to the U.N. website.

“Electing Saudi Arabia to protect women’s rights is like making an arsonist into the town fire chief,” Hillel Neuer said.

Neuer called the election “absurd,” noting that all women in Saudi Arabia “must have a male guardian who makes all critical decisions on her behalf, controlling a woman’s life from her birth until death. Saudi Arabia also bans women from driving cars.”

Saudi Arabia, a top U.S. ally, is also on the U.N. Human Rights Council.

Can’t say that I care; I hate the U.N. anyway, and have long done so. Just more proof of its absurdity…

 

Italy considering paid menstrual leave

Yeah.

Commentary at The Last Ditch:

Italy is on the verge of requiring employers to give their female employees paid leave for those days that the ladies are incommoded by their eerie, but somewhat regular, appointment with the moon.

I predict that once this becomes firmly entrenched in American society (by government regulation, of course), it will be only a matter of time — a short time at that — before workers refer to absent co-workers as having taken “a rag day.”

I further predict that it will be only a matter of time — a short time at that — before said workers will be fired for having said it. [Ronn Neff]  Ω

No doubt…

And then, afterwards: demands for paid PMS leave, separate from regular sick leave, because it would be misogynistic to expect women to have to use up their regular sick leave time for PMS, of course. And if you disagree, you hate women; if you say it at work, you’ve created a hostile environment, and you’re fired.

 

Middle-aged Japanese man’s 6-tonne porn mag collection collapses on top of him, crushing him to death; body not found for 6 months

Porn is bad for you, spiritually.

But sometimes it’s even deadly, literally.

Here’s one such case:

A lonely Japanese man who amassed more than six tons of porn died when a huge pile of magazines fell on top of him.

And even more tragically, the man’s body was only discovered six months later when the landlord entered the flat to find out why the rent had not been paid.

The man’s lowly death was revealed by a member of the cleaning team, who said his company had been hired to remove the magazines discreetly in a way that would not be noticed by neighbours and the man’s family to save them from the shame.

He said that the dead man, a 50-year-old former carmaker identified only by the name Joji, had died buried underneath under a pile of the pornographic magazines.

It was unclear if he had suffered a heart attack and fallen into the stacks of magazines which had then fallen on top of him, or whether he had been crushed by the mass of paper.

But the cleaner said that if he was still conscious, the paper would probably have muffled his cries.

Every space in the flat was filled with piles of magazines, which also stacked on tables and on shelves.

There were also clippings from erotic magazines where it appeared the man had cut out his favourite articles, and thrown away the rest of the magazine.

Despite his trimming, at the time of his death the collection weighed in at six metric tons (13,228 pounds).

So now his family not only now have the grief of mourning their loved one, but also the embarrassment of this becoming known worldwide.

Oh well. At least his life and death can be an object lesson in how not to live, for men everywhere to heed.

Sayonara, dude.

 

Putting the ‘colon’ back in ‘colonialism’…

You can’t make this shit up…

Will S.' Random Weirdness Blog

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