Poetry Interlude: Some selections from Canada’s worst poet, on dairy farming

25 Oct

James McIntyre got no respect in his lifetime, and little since.

And admittedly, his poems are fairly universally considered, well, doggerel.

Still, even so, they have a charm of their own, in my opinion, in spite of that, especially today. Because hey, even bad poetry can still be good. 🙂

Here, then, just for fun, are a few short ones of his, celebrating dairy farming.


The farmers now should all adorn
A few fields with sweet southern corn,
It is luscious, thick and tall,
The beauty of the fields in fall.

For it doth make best ensilage,
For those in dairying engage
It makes the milk in streams to flow,
Where dairymen have a good silo.

The cow is a happy rover
O’er the fields of blooming clover,
Of it she is a fond lover,
And it makes the milk pails run over.

Windmills and Stone Stables

Cows suffered in the days of old
For want of water and from cold,
Now of good water they have fill
For it is pumped by the windmill.

No matter how well cows were fed
They suffered cold in their board shed,
But good stone walls now them enfold,
And they are warm and safe from cold.

Now they do enjoy their fodder,
And repay with their full udder,
If bran slops you on cow bestow
Of milk it will increase the flow.

And in your efforts do not halt
But let them daily lick the salt,
And never let the dogs them chase,
But let them walk at their quiet pace.

The Vale of Thames

In vale of Thames oft’ times are seen
The cattle graze ‘mong sweetest green,
Or there contented with their fate
The gentle cows do ruminate.

And enjoy a double pleasure
In re-chewing hidden treasure,
The cow is a kindly creature,
Kind and pleasant in each feature.

About her is a homely charm,
And her the dog should not alarm,
But let all safe guard her from harm,
The gentlest creature on the farm.

Ranney, 1856, Dairy System.

Ranney began with just two cows,
Which he in winter fed on browse,
And now he hath got mighty herds
Numerous as flock of birds,
May he long live our hearts to cheer
This great and useful pioneer.


Posted by on October 25, 2013 in poetry


23 responses to “Poetry Interlude: Some selections from Canada’s worst poet, on dairy farming

  1. Sanne

    October 25, 2013 at 6:13 am

    Those poems are sure fun to read!:)

  2. Will S.

    October 25, 2013 at 9:20 am

    I think so! 🙂

    Sometimes, I like Philly steak and cheese sandwich; other times, I enjoy a McDonald’s cheeseburger. Same with poetry. 🙂

  3. Lena S.

    October 25, 2013 at 10:37 am

    The Dog

    The truth I do not stretch or shove
    When I state that the dog is full of love.
    I’ve also found, by actual test,
    A wet dog is the lovingest.

    The Cow

    The cow is of bovine ilk;
    One end is moo, the other is milk.

    Ogden Nash, the undisputed king of doggerel verse. LOL

    • Will S.

      October 25, 2013 at 10:40 am

      Oh yeah! Love Ogden Nash.

  4. Will S.

    October 25, 2013 at 11:22 am

    Good doggerel is fun. 🙂

    To heck with naysayers, spoilsports.

  5. electricangel

    October 25, 2013 at 11:33 am

    I just felt my IQ drop about 30 points. It remains genius-level, but still.

    The turtle lives twixt plated decks
    that practically conceal its sex.
    I find it clever of the turtle
    In such a fix to be so fertile.

  6. Will S.

    October 25, 2013 at 11:51 am


  7. Will S.

    October 25, 2013 at 12:31 pm

    I’ve found another by McIntyre on the same theme, and have updated the post; if I find some others, I may do likewise. I’m sure everyone is waiting with bated breath. 😉

  8. Lena S.

    October 25, 2013 at 12:42 pm

    Here I sit broken hearted
    Paid a dime and only farted
    Next time thought I’d take a chance
    Saved a dime and shit my pants

    -author unknown

  9. Will S.

    October 25, 2013 at 12:52 pm

    When I was little and had no sense,
    I took a whiz on an electric fence,
    It hurt so bad, it shocked my balls,
    Then I took a crap in my overalls.

    – Beavis.

  10. Will S.

    October 25, 2013 at 12:53 pm

    That was cool, huh-huh,
    When we killed that frog, huh-huh,
    It won’t croak again.

    – Butthead.

  11. Will S.

    October 25, 2013 at 1:17 pm

  12. Will S.

    October 25, 2013 at 1:22 pm

  13. Will S.

    October 25, 2013 at 1:36 pm

  14. Will S.

    October 28, 2013 at 1:02 am

  15. Will S.

    November 4, 2013 at 4:21 am

  16. Will S.

    November 11, 2013 at 1:34 am

  17. Will S.

    November 23, 2013 at 8:53 pm

  18. Will S.

    November 25, 2013 at 12:07 am

  19. Will S.

    December 2, 2013 at 2:47 am

  20. Will S.

    December 9, 2013 at 2:59 am

  21. Will S.

    December 15, 2013 at 9:47 pm

  22. Will S.

    September 1, 2014 at 11:23 am

    Reblogged this on Will S.' Sunny Side Blog.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s