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If You Aren’t Jesus, Trying to Walk on Water May Turn out Badly

14 May

Reblogged from Zwinglius Redivivus:

Indeed, you may be eaten.

Crazy pentebabbleists.

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17 responses to “If You Aren’t Jesus, Trying to Walk on Water May Turn out Badly

  1. Socially Extinct

    May 14, 2017 at 12:11 am

    >”fasted for a week”

    >”feasted on by 3 crocodiles”

    holy moly…

     
    • Will S.

      May 14, 2017 at 12:20 am

      Crocodiles must have been hungry, to split a dehydrated, no-doubt-toughened human three ways… 😉

       
      • Socially Extinct

        May 14, 2017 at 12:22 am

        The pastor was thought by many to be a complete jerk

         
      • Will S.

        May 14, 2017 at 12:29 am

        And ended up as human jerky! 😉

         
  2. infowarrior1

    May 14, 2017 at 1:24 am

    Signs and wonders are rare events and largely unpredictable. He thinks that somehow God will play along?

    When he isn’t accomplishing his will in spreading the Gospel but treating it like magic.

     
    • Will S.

      May 14, 2017 at 7:38 am

      Oh well. He won’t make that mistake again! 🙂

       
  3. Matthew Walker

    May 14, 2017 at 6:20 am

    “Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye have no life in you.”

    Sounds legit.

     
    • Will S.

      May 14, 2017 at 7:37 am

      Of course it does, because the Church has always understood, and taught, that this is metaphorical, not literal.

      You get that, right?

       
      • Matthew Walker

        May 14, 2017 at 8:59 am

        I was trying to make a funny about the guy who thought he could do what Jesus did, and got literally, rather than metaphorically, eaten.

        But it didn’t come out right.

         
      • Will S.

        May 14, 2017 at 11:30 am

        Ah, okay.

         
  4. Ironsides

    May 14, 2017 at 9:00 am

    Africans would be kind of amusing, if slightly depressing, assuming that we could observe them from afar rather than dealing with them directly.

     
  5. feeriker

    May 14, 2017 at 11:26 am

    There’s a lesson in this, but it’s very unlikely that those overflowing with hubris trying to masquerade as faith will ever learn it.

     

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