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Dead morbidly obese people being cremated burn out of control, so stop cremating them

30 Apr

‘Overly obese’ body sparks Ohio funeral home fire

A crematorium in Ohio caught fire while burning the remains of an “overly obese” body, according to the owner.

Don Catchen said the corpse caused flames to engulf one of his units in the city of Cincinnati.

The fat in the body burned at a higher temperature, prompting the blaze, said the city fire chief.

This isn’t the first time I’ve read a story like this; there were a pair of them in 2012:

Dead obese woman had so much body fat she set the building on fire during her cremation

Austrian crematorium officials have blamed a deceased woman’s obesity for causing a blaze which had to be tackled by firefighters.

Firemen in the southern city of Graz were covered in thick sticky soot as they tried to prevent the blaze from taking hold of the building.

The case has been widely reported in Austrian media, including in the ORF – the country’s equivalent of our BBC – and has ignited calls for a weight limit on bodies to protect against future fires.

Surge in Obesity Sparks Crematorium Blazes

The crematorium employee in the western German town of Hamelin took a last look at the coffin before pushing it inside the furnace. This was the third coffin he had processed on the morning of January 13, and the body itself weighed over 200 kilograms (440 pounds). Of that, only two kilograms of ashes were supposed to remain after cremation. But, 15 minutes later, flames shot out of the crematorium’s 10-meter-high (33-foot-high) stainless-steel chimney, and parts of it began to melt.

Unable to bring the fire under control, the employee called the fire department. Firemen determined that the smoking chimney was glowing at 600 degrees Celsius (1,100 degrees Fahrenheit). They cooled it from the side and used an infrared camera to track the spread of heat through the building. It took four hours to reduce the body in the furnace to ash.

Anyway, cremation is for heathens; we Christians should avoid it, as Chesterton hinted.

That way, we’ll never cause embarrassment of the above kind to our living relatives after we’ve passed…

As for the law, we really ought to ban huge people from being cremated…

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12 responses to “Dead morbidly obese people being cremated burn out of control, so stop cremating them

  1. electricangel

    April 30, 2017 at 8:59 pm

    Bless me father, for I have sinned. It has been months since I laughed so hard, and I shouldn’t.

     
  2. feeriker

    May 1, 2017 at 8:36 am

    Maybe cremation isn’t the answer, but it does seem that burning human fat in that quantity must have some potentially productive benefit. Auxiliary power generation, maybe?

     
    • Will S.

      May 1, 2017 at 8:41 am

      Hey, you know those organ donor cards? We should encourage really, really fat people to donate their fat upon their death, then we’ll liposuction their corpses, and use the fat for fuel!

      We could develop a new line of ‘smart cars’ that don’t use fossil fuels or electricity, just dead landwhale fat! 😉

       
      • feeriker

        May 2, 2017 at 12:06 am

        “Lard donors”

         
      • Will S.

        May 2, 2017 at 12:14 am

        Ha! 🙂

         
      • Will S.

        May 2, 2017 at 12:16 am

        And instead of ‘smart cars’, we’ll call the cars that run on human fat ‘lard cars’! 😉

         
  3. Leiff

    May 2, 2017 at 8:17 am

    How well do the live ones burn?

     
    • Will S.

      May 2, 2017 at 8:19 am

      For some reason, that isn’t allowed…

       

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