Witches cast ‘mass spell’ against Donald Trump; evangelicals over-react, freaking out in fear

26 Feb

Double, double toil and trouble,. Fire burn, and cauldron bubble!

Most of Donald Trump’s opponents believe they will have to wait four more years to see him leave the White House.

But America’s witches are more optimistic.

That’s the spirit! The can-do attitude that built America, and made it great!

At the stroke of midnight on Friday, followers of witchcraft across the US performed a mass spell designed to remove the president from office.

Clearly, it must have worked! Wait, no; Trump is still President, progs! Better try again…

A Facebook group devoted to the ritual has attracted over 10,500 likes, and coined the hashtag #magicresistance.

Ooh, a Magic Resistance! Now you see them; now you don’t! Amen! 😉

The development has sparked fury among Christian conservatives, who have accused the witches of “declaring spiritual war”.

Idiots. Witches have always been at spiritual war with our Lord; now they’ve merely extended their war into the temporal realm, against a head of state; in theory, at least: doesn’t look like their spell worked. But if at first you don’t succeed, try, and try again, prog witches!

Writer Michael Hughes, who describes himself as a “magical thinker” posted a version of the spell online, saying he had seen multiple versions on private witchcraft groups.

Ooh, Magical Thinking! What progs are known for…

In it, he suggests using a stubby orange candle, an unflattering picture of Mr Trump, and a Tower tarot card.

Wouldn’t you want to build a Tower of Tower tarot cards, to make it bigger and more powerful? Make Witchcraft Great Again! 😉

Followers of magic are told to carve the president’s name into the candle using a pin, recite an incantation, and then burn his picture in the flame.

The words of the spell include a plea to the Wiccan deities to “bind Donald J Trump, so that his malignant works may fail utterly” and so that he “shall not break our polity, usurp our liberty, or fill our minds with hate, confusion, fear, or despair”.

They needn’t worry; their minds are already filled with hate, confusion, fear and despair. (Too bad about the hate, but I’m sure enjoying their confusion, fear and despair, and you should, too! 🙂 )

Mr Trump’s supporters don’t escape either, as the spell asks that their “malicious tongues” be curbed too.

Well, have we deplorables been silenced? Nope! I guess our God is bigger than their Wiccan deities. 🙂

Mr Hughes suggests that instead of the normal closing line, “So mote it be!”, witches could burn the former Apprentice host’s image with the words, “You’re fired!”

Using Trump’s own words against him; so cute! Too bad it didn’t work. 🙂

The writer said he published details of the spell because he felt “it would be very welcome to a lot of people”.

Under the tenets of witchcraft, a “binding spell” does not wish harm on its target, but aims to stop them from doing harm themselves.

And yet they’re burning his picture in effigy. Doesn’t add up, does it?

MaryPat Azevedo, who took part in the ritual in Arizona, said she saw the ritual as “a unity prayer”.

She told the BBC: “A true witch would never cast a spell on anyone without their permission. This prayer is for wellbeing and peace for all beings.”

And did the Donald grant you his permission? Or are you not a true witch? D’Oh!

Ms Azevedo said she hopes to see “physical, emotional, and spiritual changes in Donald Trump and American politics”.

Me too. I’d love to see in Trump physical changes (him becoming even healthier, so that he may have a long, healthy and productive presidency), emotional changes (becoming thicker-skinned), and spiritual changes (hey, I’d love to see him become a faithful, orthodox, mature Christian). And I’d love to see all different manner of various changes in American politics, in a reactionary direction, of course.

Participating witches plan to repeat the spell on days when there is a waning crescent moon, until Mr Trump leaves the Oval Office. The next ritual is set for 26 March.

I’m sure President Trump is quaking in his boots!

Perhaps unsurprisingly, some of the president’s followers are less than thrilled.

Maybe a handful; the rest don’t know or care! 🙂

Joshua Feuerstein, an evangelical pastor who has previously condemned Starbucks for taking Christmas symbols off its seasonal red cups, issued an “urgent warning”, saying “millions of witches” were trying to curse the president.

“Their bippity-boppity-boo isn’t more powerful than the name of Jesus!” he declared in an online video.

Exactly, so relax, bro; the Lord has got this. Chill out!

The Christian Nationalist Alliance, a conservative religious group, named 24 February a “day of prayer” to counter the magical fraternity.

I’m sorry, under what authority do they declare the right to dictate to the rest of Christians to suddenly follow this festival / fast / whatever? They’re not a church governing body, but go nuts guys, if it makes you feel better.

In a post online, it called the witches “occultists” who want to summon dark spirits against Mr Trump.

True dat.

The group said it will urge people to pray every time the spell-casters reach for their candles.

People should always pray. They don’t need to think of this as some sort of contest where the side that prays the hardest will beat the other.

Thus far, Mr Trump has failed to comment on the battle between Bible and broomstick.

No, but he has disinvited you, BBC, to press briefings; that should give you an idea of what he thinks of your reporting and coverage overall, much less individual prog-straw-grasping-, silly ‘stories’ like this.


32 responses to “Witches cast ‘mass spell’ against Donald Trump; evangelicals over-react, freaking out in fear

  1. AM

    February 26, 2017 at 10:20 am

    I don’t see the harm in informing people and asking them to pray against it. “Prayer contest” would be an over-simplification, but Holy Tradition is clear that God moves us to pray so as to let us share in His dignity of causality, as sons. We oughtn’t simply say “God’s got it.” On gab, I suggested Catholics pray a rosary at Midnight, lighting a votive or vigil lamp before the Theotokos’ “Softener of Evil Hearts” icon, or an image of Ss. Benedict or Michael, invoking their intercession against maleficence. We know the importance of ritual and symbol.

    • Will S.

      February 26, 2017 at 10:34 am

      Fair enough; I was less taking issue with evangelicals choosing to engage in prayer against evil (never a wrong or bad thing for Christians to do) than with their panicking mindset. You’re certainly right that we do well to pray, in the face of evil; always a good thing to do.

  2. Will S.

    February 26, 2017 at 12:48 pm

    Amusingly, there are pro-Trump pagans, as well:

    Don’t know why the BBC missed them…

    • Will S.

      February 26, 2017 at 12:49 pm

      I am being sarcastic, of course; I do know why; they don’t fit the preferred narrative…

  3. Dirtnapninja

    February 27, 2017 at 4:46 pm


    Kek will protect us from the wiccan hordes!

  4. Just Spit Ballin'

    February 28, 2017 at 12:11 pm

    Ms Azevedo said she hopes to see “physical, emotional, and spiritual changes in Donald Trump and American politics”

    Hahaha – be careful what you wish for. Remember, the “majority” voted for Hildebeast!

    • Will S.

      February 28, 2017 at 7:00 pm

      Yeah, really; what if their spell makes Trump turn into their biggest nightmare?

      If I may cackle somewhat like a witch, bwahaha! 😉

  5. rednig

    March 2, 2017 at 12:40 am

    Hmm-m-m. for every witch casting at the president, there’s a thousand Christians say, “In Jesus’ Name, I break these spells and cast them back ten-fold on the one who sent them. I cast the demons and evil back ten-fold on the one who sent them, and bind it all there by the Blood of Jesus.” Look to see fewer witches in the near future. If you think this is funny, then you must think it was funny that 1/3 of Jesus’ ministry was like this 🙂 Go for broke. After decades of neolibs owning the country, we have nothing left but attack.

    • Will S.

      March 2, 2017 at 12:44 am

      Hey, we should throw everything at them that we got, including spiritual warfare, too, whether prayer or whatever.

  6. Will S.

    March 10, 2017 at 9:51 pm

    • rednig

      March 11, 2017 at 12:05 pm

      (: Better yet, lets send them back to Europe. And add a curse to their curses on them! Remember the poloc dueling pistol. Every finger they aim at Trump, three more aim back at them. God’s will be done.

      • Will S.

        March 11, 2017 at 12:23 pm

        Yeah! 🙂

    • rednig

      March 11, 2017 at 12:17 pm

      I’m not downloading on you. Cochran needs to study history, not urban legend. The Cursades started when? Medina was christian/Jewish city and every peron there was slaughtyered. Their remains were buried under the city plaza. Every city and state in the Middle East was Christianized, with the exception of two cities in Iraq, which were Buddhist–those were also slaughtered to the last child, even the livestock burned. All of N. Africa right into France was taken, but the French repelled them Still no Crusade. 10 million Christians stolen from the coast of Europe, untold number taken from Eastern Europe, slave raids right to Iceland (over 400 taken from there, ten years later, family found 1 still alive, the life was that harsh on Christians). The first crusade was to stop it from continuing, and the rest, as well. Do bad things happen in war? Of course. But nothing like Islam did in the name of greed, not God.

      Which inquisition? there were two, secular and religious. Under the Bible, no one is persecuted for their religious beliefs and the catholics followed that. Secular court was vastly different, using torture and burnings as part of the mainstay–and it was usually people in rebellion against the government (see political lynchings, USA). Witchcraft was an accusation. In church matters, if found guilty, a confession and anointing was usually enough. Secular courts used Roman law, not the Bible to make determinations. Yes, I do know. Manuscript research and an editor, and have never been a Catholic. Blessed be the Lord Who trained these fingers for war… 🙂 Peace to you, and may the sword miss!

      • Will S.

        March 11, 2017 at 12:27 pm

        Cheers! 🙂

        To give Cochran the benefit of the doubt, he only mentioned the Crusades in passing in reference to something for which we Christians get accused of committing atrocities in; he didn’t bother to go into what he thinks of such accusations there, as that wasn’t his focus in his post. He might accept history as per the prog narrative, or he might believe differently; notice how he doesn’t buy into the regular reading of Galileo (not sure what I think of that, but we’ve discussed it here in the past). He might be more independent-minded than we can tell from that brief mention, and given his views on Galileo and witches, I think there’s a good chance he is. 🙂

      • rednig

        March 11, 2017 at 9:34 pm

        yeah, I get tired of it. I’m not a catholic, and not a protestant, but wind up defending against the atheists’ little box of urban legends. So! My best to you, be blessed.

      • Will S.

        March 11, 2017 at 9:50 pm

        I’m Protestant, for my part, but ElectricAngel is Catholic; we’re a pan-Christian-traditionalist blog.

        Cheers. 🙂

      • rednig

        March 12, 2017 at 9:57 am

        (: I became a Christian at age 27! Non-Protestant, non-Catholic. The ancestors were taught by Messianic Jews brought into the colonies by the churches.

      • Will S.

        March 12, 2017 at 11:08 am

        Which colonies? My mom is from the Caribbean.

      • rednig

        March 13, 2017 at 2:11 am

        13 original, Stars and Stripes, USA, or just spell it US. Which island in the Sea of the Carib? A bro left for the la Republica (Dominican) on the 3rd. I asked if he would take me, but i had to find a suitcase big enough to hold me and the dog. 🙂 Too expensive to go now, anyway. Me, I want to get home to Arizona. We have miles of beach, palm trees, tropical fruit, salt water, sun, just no ocean. For that, we go to the Redneck Riviera, Texas coast.

      • Will S.

        March 13, 2017 at 9:49 pm


  7. rednig

    March 13, 2017 at 11:14 pm

    Trinidad? Ya mon? The closest I’ve come is Little Jamaica, NYC. Outside of Ft. Jackson, SC. An older half-brother is buying more property in Belize. Dad raised him ‘white’ because his mother is an Austrian. She (divorced, living in S. Carolina) tried to get him into things with the Cherokee, to have a base from there, but he never had much to do with them. Now he wants me to go with him to make cure the Mayans are cool with him building in their turf. Um, dang, man, no speak da lingo, yoi (no :). It’s cool in Belize, but it rains there. (God BLESS Arizona!) I told him, find a nice Garifuna babe and settle in. A lot of good folks all over the Islands, good hearts there. Much nicer than Sou Californian where he is now. Much, much nicer than the cold hearts of Pennsylvania. Ya mon, dot she so nice. Be blessed, and your mother, as well, for raising you right.

    • Will S.

      March 13, 2017 at 11:46 pm


      I want to visit Belize; it’s on my bucket list. 🙂

      I like the idea of a place with a culture that’s a cross between Caribbean and Latin, but which is English-speaking (as well as Creole and Spanish) and has Mayan pyramids, too.

      Also, a small country, so easy to get around and see all of.

      • rednig

        March 14, 2017 at 8:28 am

        Word is, stay away from the border with Guatemala. Every once in a while they get a burr up the unmentionable and invade Belize. Last time was ’97, so their due again. Armed troops against little old ladies, Moskitos Indians, and of course the infamous Carib. Having been chased from the Yucatan to Guatemala, then to Belize by the Spanish, the Mayan were more than happy to lend a machete or two. How’s your Kriol? Ya, mon!

      • Will S.

        March 14, 2017 at 8:37 am

        Being of East Indian rather than African descent, I only know a little Creole / Patois.

      • rednig

        March 15, 2017 at 3:21 am

        Think old English. Garifuna, the unofficial language, is several Native American languages (mostly from the Garifuna/Carib) with some African (Kongo). But, English was a trade language, and much of it is Elizabethan English. Kriol is the same as with the southern Appalachians, linguists studying Elizabethan English went there, to work with the mountain folks in the 20s and 30s. Off subject, I see you have the Wintery Knight listed. Very cool, very up. tsi

      • Will S.

        March 15, 2017 at 8:14 am

        I understand Pitcairn Islanders also speak mostly Elizabethan English, too.

        Yes, we like WK. 🙂

      • rednig

        March 17, 2017 at 12:29 am

        I don’t know it is Elizabethan. The population is newer than that. Interesting history on the island. And, of course Blye. In longboats, he made it to New Zealand, I think, without losing a man. When they went hunting Mr. Christian and the others, he begged them for leniency, and later forced changes in British Navy giving common sailors rights never held before. He went from demoniac to saint. It’s amazing what God can do with the worse of us, and Blye was once said to be grossly evil. Yet, in that era, many were. Psychotic became normal. It does that in cycles. tsi

      • Will S.

        March 17, 2017 at 1:03 am

        Well, maybe King James English, or Georgian, I forget.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s