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I don’t want your services, washroom attendant; I don’t owe you a fucking thing, so just fuck off

15 Feb

First of all, what are you doing in a place like this, for Pete’s sake? Back in the day, when I would occasionally visit peeler bars, there you were, some intimidating-looking black guy in the washroom selling cheap colognes and such, coming near me to spritz me with a water / cheap cologne mixture, or to try to hand me a paper towel after I washed my hands.

Now, you’re a young Millennial white hipster-looking guy in a washroom in an upscale hotel, on the floor of the hotel occupied mostly by a restaurant that’s Canada’s biggest steakhouse chain, but still the same deal; some idiot loser trying to sell stuff I don’t want to buy. I can buy cologne if I want it, or not buy it, elsewhere; if I wanted it, I’d have already bought it. I can reach the paper towel roll myself, or the hand dryer; I don’t need you offering me paper towels.

Why do I have to firmly but politely say ‘no thank you!’ to you, yet you act like I’m a jerk and mouth off under your breath at me?

You entitlement-mentality little Millennial hipster asshole!

You and your ilk are the lowest scum of salesmen.

Most people selling you something have stores, restaurants, offices, etc., which one can choose to go into if in the market for a particular good / service – or not go into, if not interested.

Others may try to phone people, which one can still simply ignore.

Others come to one’s door; one can always just not answer.

But you, like a homeless squeegee-armed twit trying to wash my windshield at an intersection, you force me to say no to you, because you try to force your services on me.

Yes, you’re as bad as those squeegee homeless assholes.

People need to piss / shit, sometimes before returning to their own rooms; they don’t need some asshole trying to force his business upon them.

What is this, some Third World city outdoors with street urchins, or gypsies in some east European capital coming up to people trying to sell them shit? (Truly First World places should not have such problems.)

Fuck off.

P.S. Hotel, you’ve lost any potential future business of mine that you otherwise might have gotten. Classy establishments do not have their washrooms attended to like that of a peeler bar. Peeler bars are not classy places, even if Yank ones bill themselves ‘gentlemen’s clubs’, a dumbass phrase if I ever heard one which we thankfully don’t use much up here in the Great White North. Peeler bars apparently rely on the presence of such people to act as free security, stopping drug use, fights, sex in washroom stalls. Classy hotels shouldn’t need that; people can have sex or do drugs discreetly in their rooms, they should be of a class that don’t get into fisticuffs; if just visiting the restaurant, they can go outside to fight or home to do drugs / sex.

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30 Comments

Posted by on February 15, 2016 in Brave New World Order, business, The Decline

 

30 responses to “I don’t want your services, washroom attendant; I don’t owe you a fucking thing, so just fuck off

  1. Jacob

    February 15, 2016 at 10:57 pm

    Not one of your more thankful experiences, then?

     
  2. Will S.

    February 15, 2016 at 11:02 pm

    Whatever gave you that impression? 😉

    Hey, I thought I was free of such scum when I stopped going to those wicked places.

    Now, they’ve followed me into places that are not especially immoral (except in their prices), and which used to be classy.

     
  3. feeriker

    February 16, 2016 at 12:39 am

    What is this, some Third World city outdoors with street urchins, or gypsies in some east European capital coming up to people trying to sell them shit? (Truly First World places should not have such problems.)

    Yes, in answer to your question. TPTB in what is now (but won’t for long be) the so-called “First World” are determined to turn their domains into the Third World – for us unwashed masses, of course. NOT for themselves, their gated and guarded communities keeping such riff-raff at bay..

    Get used to it. Coming soon, to your neighborhood.

     
  4. feeriker

    February 16, 2016 at 12:48 am

    Now, you’re a young Millennial white hipster-looking guy in a washroom in an upscale hotel, on the floor of the hotel occupied mostly by a restaurant that’s Canada’s biggest steakhouse chain, but still the same deal; some idiot loser trying to sell stuff I don’t want to buy. I can buy cologne if I want it, or not buy it, elsewhere; if I wanted it, I’d have already bought it. I can reach the paper towel roll myself, or the hand dryer; I don’t need you offering me paper towels.

    As things continue to deteriorate at an ever more rapid rate, expect these guys to start standing next to you at the urinal and aggressively offer “dick washing” services and that they wont take “no!” (or “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!”) for an answer. Expect also to be charged with a felony hate crime if you fight them off.

     
  5. infowarrior1

    February 16, 2016 at 12:57 am

    @feeriker
    ” expect these guys to start standing next to you at the urinal and aggressively offer “dick washing” services and that they wont take “no!” (or “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!”) for an answer. Expect also to be charged with a felony hate crime if you fight them off.”

    Could I run screaming into a desolate wilderness so that I can be free of those assholes? Or will they follow me even there to the inhospitable arctic or sahara desert.

     
  6. Will S.

    February 16, 2016 at 12:59 am

    @ feeriker: LOL, yes, they’ll offer to pull your dick out of your pants, and hold it while you piss, then shake the last two drops for you, and if you yell at them, they’ll call you homophobic, and you’ll get charged with a hate crime.

    And we should be thankful, and ‘count it all joy’?

    Fuck that.

     
    • speculativeramblings

      May 7, 2017 at 4:24 pm

      I know this is old, but can you explain what is up with those last two lines? I wouldn’t treat a biblical quote with that sort of language.

       
      • Will S.

        May 7, 2017 at 5:02 pm

        I’m not treating the Biblical quote with that language; I’m treating the mis-application (IMO) of that Biblical quote (as if it were meant to be applied in all circumstances, such as this situation discussed here) with that language. There are some who think Christians should never get angry at all; that any and all anger is unrighteous. I disagree.

        I use salty language here on occasion, and I won’t apologize for it. Those who are put off by it don’t have to be here. I don’t care.

         
      • speculativeramblings

        May 7, 2017 at 6:43 pm

        Oh, okay, you’re only talking about the mistreatment. I know how angry “money [not ‘love of’] is the root of all evil” used to make me. Thanks.

         
      • Will S.

        May 7, 2017 at 7:18 pm

        My apologies; I should have been more clear in my original comment; I don’t want anyone to think I’m denigrating God’s Holy Word; perish the thought!

        Yeah, I hate any and all misapplications of Scripture. The one that probably gets my goat the most is progs’ misuse of “judge not”, as if we were never to judge people’s actions against the teachings of the Word of God, including our own for that matter.

         
  7. infowarrior1

    February 16, 2016 at 1:00 am

    @Will S.

    About the homeless twit that try to wash your car windscreen. What other jobs are out there besides that for homeless people?

    If there are no reliable employment routes for them I am afraid we will be stuck with such twits since its their only way to improve their lot.

     
  8. Will S.

    February 16, 2016 at 1:00 am

    @ infowarrior1, if only there were somewhere left to go.

     
  9. Will S.

    February 16, 2016 at 1:04 am

    @ infowarrior1: First off, there shouldn’t be homeless people in the wealthy West. The mentally ill should be institutionalized. Alkis and junkies should be helped; drugs and prostitution should be legalized to remove the sale of such things from the criminal, street realm, turn them into businesses – sleazy, evil businesses, but still, better than streetwalkers and hustlers on the street.

    Then, nobody need live on the street.

     
  10. BC

    February 16, 2016 at 2:40 am

    P.S. Hotel, you’ve lost any potential future business of mine that you otherwise might have gotten.

    Just curious, but did you let the hotel manager know that?

     
  11. Will S.

    February 16, 2016 at 8:53 am

    I’ll decide when I leave, depending how generous of spirit I’m feeling.

     
  12. thedeti

    February 16, 2016 at 10:25 am

    Ha. This was a good one.

    Listen, “washroom attendant”. I just walked out of a bathroom stall where you heard me straining, farting, and plopping for five minutes. I wiped my own ass. I flushed my own toilet. Get the fuck out of my face and leave me alone while I wash my own hands and get my own towel. I have been doing this myself since I was 3 years old. LEAVE ME ALONE.

    I just held my own dick and pissed all by myself. You, on the other hand, stood creepily by the sink watching me and two other guys doing the same thing. GET out of my fucking face with cologne, mints, mouthwash and whatever else. I just want to wash my hands and leave this pungent bathroom without having to talk to anyone or even look anyone in the eye.

    This is a damn public bathroom. I am in here only because I have to be, to take care of a basic human need, just like every other weary business traveler in here. I just want to piss and shit and be left alone in peace without having to acknowledge to anyone else that that’s what I was in here doing. I don’t want to have to acknowledge that to you or anyone else because EVERYONE IN HERE KNOWS THAT’S WHAT I WAS DOING, and that’s because that’s what THEY were ALSO doing.

    Go. Away.

     
  13. feeriker

    February 16, 2016 at 11:26 am

    I’m just trying to imagine any heterosexual male working as a “washroom attendant.” I’d sooner sit on a streetcorner and beg for food scraps.

     
  14. Will S.

    February 16, 2016 at 11:58 am

    @ BC: I was fed up, under time pressures, facing an hour’s drive through a snowstorm; I just left.

    Hey, my blog lets me vent. Complaining would probably have done nothing, since they’ve already made the decision to allow such people in; they won’t care what one person says, and change their minds just for me.

    @ deti: Spot on!

    Thanks. 🙂

    @ feeriker: Funny thing is, I’ve never gotten the queer vibe from any of them, but I too can’t imagine wanting to wait on men at a bathroom counter. Ugh.

     
  15. elmertjones

    February 16, 2016 at 12:07 pm

    The there’s the fat ladies offering neck rubs at the gentleman’s club. I know they are just trying to survive but criminy it’s annoying to have to decline them in addition to ugly dancers.

     
  16. Will S.

    February 16, 2016 at 12:10 pm

    WOT? LOL! Never saw those; things have sure changed at those places since last time I entered one of them. It was bad enough that girls had started accompanying their boyfriends to such places, instead of being, as previously, all-male (except barmaids and dancers) establishments, where one could escape normal females. Now fat hags are there, too, offering neck rubs? WTF?

     
  17. Seikis

    February 16, 2016 at 9:19 pm

    Pretty much this sounds like ads in the internet. Was that guy spamming you in the restroom? No pop-ups in the toilet!

     
  18. Will S.

    February 17, 2016 at 1:41 am

    🙂

     
  19. infowarrior1

    February 17, 2016 at 1:51 am

    @Will S.
    This man is the form spam assumes before the age of the internet. Social spam. Perhaps as old as civilization itself.

     
  20. Socially Extinct

    February 17, 2016 at 6:56 am

    Who, why, how??? Whose idea was it to man bathrooms with these hovering, shadowing dopes? They are the worst thing for asocial introverts like me. Certain things don’t need to involve a person. I’m surprised these guys don’t volunteer to wipe your ass as well!!

    Hmmm…I wonder how female washroom attendants would work. I might go for that although that could be little awkward. I’d get “stage urination fright” with a strange woman lurking with a mint dish and paper towels 😦

     
  21. Will S.

    February 17, 2016 at 9:28 am

    @ infowarrior1: Yep.

    @ SE: I know! It’s crazy.

    Yeah, not so much. I already don’t like the idea of being in a nursing home, having a put-upon, hard-bitten female nurse wiping my ass, helping me piss; I hope I die first.

     
  22. feeriker

    February 17, 2016 at 6:30 pm

    I’m surprised these guys don’t volunteer to wipe your ass as well!!

    For a small gratuity you can add that to the free dick washing.

     
  23. feeriker

    February 17, 2016 at 8:53 pm

    Hmmmm…I wonder how female washroom attendants would work. I might go for that although that could be little awkward. I’d get “stage urination fright” with a strange woman lurking with a mint dish and paper towels

    You can rest assured that any hotel, club, or restaurant that staffed their men’s restrooms with female washroom attendants would hire women who would look like … well, just picture a female version of Luca Brasi.

     

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