If the ‘loaves and fishes’ crowd had been like modern folk

18 Jul

Posted by on July 18, 2015 in humour, on the lighter side, religion


37 responses to “If the ‘loaves and fishes’ crowd had been like modern folk

  1. feeriker

    July 19, 2015 at 1:33 am

    I’m sure that a few on the fringes of the original crowd did spew some First Century version of this entitled whining.

  2. Will S.

    July 19, 2015 at 1:43 am

    No doubt. After all, human nature is the same as it ever was, post-Fall…

  3. ray

    July 19, 2015 at 11:04 pm

    I’m vegan. You got me!

    Me and the other Vegans meet a couple evenings a month at the local co-op, and plan how to piss off Carnivores. Perhaps not a noble calling. But passes the time.

    I loved pastries so much that apparently God took them away. Overindulgence. I’m hoping there are chocolate eclairs in the kingdom.


  4. Will S.

    July 19, 2015 at 11:10 pm


  5. Will S.

    July 19, 2015 at 11:21 pm

    I was in a 7-Eleven the other day, and I espied an éclair in the pastry rack; I thought, I wonder if I could get them to put a hot dog weiner inside a chocolate éclair for me? Then I thought better of it. 😉

  6. Will S.

    July 19, 2015 at 11:22 pm

  7. Will S.

    July 19, 2015 at 11:25 pm

    That has been done in Toronto, so it’s not impossible.

    I’d try it, at least once. I’m kinda craving one again now! 😉

  8. Senghendrake

    July 19, 2015 at 11:30 pm

    Not directly related, but you may be interested to know that a front of the SJW war opened up recently in a certain monarchist Facebook group. There was a by-the-books, typical attempted entryist coup by a few loud members of the Rainbow Brigade, demanding, as usual, “neutrality” and “basic dignity” (IE that evil traditionalists shut up), followed by a massive counter-coup via poll, seen here:

    It was interesting to watch insofar as it was a microcosm of SJW tactics, which, it seems, has generated backlash.

  9. Eric

    July 19, 2015 at 11:46 pm

    Ha—most of these types would doubt that Jesus was really the Messiah, because—if He was—He’d feed everyone with politically correct foods.

  10. Will S.

    July 19, 2015 at 11:51 pm


    ‘Where are my lentils and quinoa and kale?’

  11. ray

    July 20, 2015 at 12:15 am

    If you ate an éclair from seven eleven you’d be radioactive THROUGH the kingdom. What did you buy in there? wait don’t tell me

    No I meant a real éclair, from a competent bakery, the kind where mid-gobble one shouts Vive Le France! :O)

    • Will S.

      July 20, 2015 at 1:08 am

      Oh, one of those! 🙂

  12. Will S.

    July 20, 2015 at 1:09 am

    There was an excellent bakery in my hometown’s shopping mall when I was a kid; they made éclairs with real whipped cream, and the lemoniest lemon tarts ever. They were perfect; alas, they’re long gone…

  13. ray

    July 20, 2015 at 1:48 am

    Tuned radio. My hometown bakery too. Yes they had bakeries in the Pliocene.

    They made eclairs with whipped cream or custard filling. I liked the custard. Covered with dark chocolate, not too sweet. And a crunchy dough. Flakey but substantial. Like us.

    Jesus changed water into wine so I’m faithing he will again provide custard eclairs at the appropriate time.

    You can see why I’m not a mooslim or buddhist or any of that. No eclairs.


  14. Eric

    July 20, 2015 at 4:57 am

    You guys missed out on having a great-grandma from France. There’s NOTHING like home-made eclairs!

  15. Will S.

    July 20, 2015 at 4:59 am

    We DID miss out! That would have been wonderful! 🙂

  16. feeriker

    July 20, 2015 at 10:57 am

    It’s also not a stretch to imagine that a few others on the fringes of the original multitude whined about Jesus not having provided dessert (“No baklava? Are you friggin’ kiddin’ me?!”) or wine.

    As for the “eclairdog,” I’m not gonna be rash enough to assume that that’s a Photoshop artifact. In this day and age of “bizarre foods,” somebody, somewhere has made such a thing their specialty for sure. I’m waiting for wasabi and ginger-flavored donuts myself.

  17. Will S.

    July 20, 2015 at 12:30 pm

    @ Senghendrake: Interesting! That response is hilarious. 🙂

    @ feeriker: Indeed; we know about people in the dessert complaining about manna, in the Old Testament. So I wouldn’t at all be surprised if there were complainers in the 1st Century crowd.

    That photo is from a newspaper; the éclair dog was made in Toronto, at the Canadian National Exhibition, a few years back. I’d still like to try it, just to see what it’s like.

  18. Will S.

    July 20, 2015 at 12:32 pm

    I’ve also been curious about the Luther Burger, a hamburger with Krispy Kreme glazed donuts in place of the bun:

  19. feeriker

    July 20, 2015 at 3:54 pm

    I’ve also been curious about the Luther Burger, a hamburger with Krispy Kreme glazed donuts in place of the bun:

    Me too. Although KK closed up shop in these parts a few years back, you can still get “knockoffs” in any local supermarket bakery. One day when my other half isn’t around, I might just risk a heart attack and try recreating this. No doubt my guts and waistline will dearly and immediately regret it.

  20. Will S.

    July 21, 2015 at 4:04 am


  21. ray

    July 22, 2015 at 1:00 am

    feeriker — It’s also not a stretch to imagine that a few others on the fringes of the original multitude whined about Jesus not having provided dessert

    I’d be GLAD to be on the fringes of his multitude. As long as I’m in there somewhere. He likes to have fun too you might be surprised what manna is.

    eric — That’s just wrong and an unfair advantage in beginning life. Right from the oven no less. However I did have a czech granny! who I only recall happily bustling about the kitchen with a checkered apron on. It seemed good to me then and still does.


  22. Will S.

    July 22, 2015 at 2:12 am

    @ ray: Did your Czech granny make things like trdelník?ík

    I tried that in Prague a couple years back; it was great!

    I also had cabbage cookies, which were interesting, salty rather than sweet, and a bit cabbage-y. They were good, though! 🙂

  23. ray

    July 22, 2015 at 6:55 pm

    ‘I’ve also been curious about the Luther Burger, a hamburger with Krispy Kreme glazed donuts in place of the bun’

    Been vegan for decades but you have tempted me with the reformed Luther Burger. Fifty percent more Virgin Beef. :O)

    Then I thought Well, no mouth is big enough to get around that. But God spoke to my heart: Yours is.

    In further support of the Luther Burger, I don’t think the glazed donuts would count against having an éclair afterwards for dessert. Even in the wilderness of Sin-I. Cheers.

  24. Will S.

    July 23, 2015 at 1:28 am


  25. ray

    July 24, 2015 at 1:56 am

    She spoke almost no english, they were turn of century immigrants. Farming in s. dakota with a boatload of kids. Yep.

    I remember my mother presenting me before her, in kitchen w/apron, and her offering me ‘kolachi’ which of course I refused because 1) didn’t know what it was, sounded weird and 2) I was doubtless a little shit even then.

    Thirty years or so after she died I started appreciating her amazing devotion and character. Cheers.

  26. Will S.

    July 24, 2015 at 2:43 am

    I haven’t had kolachi, but I’d love to try it! I understand that it’s popular in various pockets of the States where there were enough such immigrants for many local people to be familiar with it.

  27. ray

    July 24, 2015 at 9:55 pm

    Did you have a European granny too Will? Immigrants? Somebody musta fed you goodies that’s obvious!

    Next time I will suggest to my grandparents not to bust their asses working and providing in harsh environments, they should just be awarded the Presidency based on their Wonderful Extant Selfness. Then travel to Africa to convert the continent to faggotry. Oh, and send your family on endless multi-million dollar vacations while complaining about how oppressed you are. :O)


  28. Will S.

    July 24, 2015 at 10:47 pm

    Not European. My paternal grandmother was Canadian (family here since 1820s or so, came from Ireland), while my maternal grandmother was from the Caribbean, of East Indian background.

    But indeed, I did eat well; I always have. 🙂

  29. Will S.

    July 24, 2015 at 10:50 pm

    It’s amazing how shameless Obama is. Breathtaking, even. Perhaps not entirely surprising, yet the audacity still stuns, somewhat.

  30. ray

    July 26, 2015 at 12:04 am

    Irish and Caribe, an unusual combo. Some wild coltness. And old Canadian roots. So, a homeland and you fight.

    I’m quarter Irish, paternal side. That side were Sierra Gold Rushers, ended up settling.

    Eat up! while the bread lasts. Cheers.

  31. Will S.

    July 26, 2015 at 12:32 am

    And it’s even more unusual – the Irish is Scotch-Irish, aka Ulster Scots. The Scots who’d gone to Ireland.

    And the Caribbean is Indo-Caribbean, rather than the more common African ancestry of most Caribbeaners.

    Yeah, I’m an unusual mix. 🙂

    Cheers! 🙂

  32. ray

    July 26, 2015 at 4:17 pm

    ‘East Indian’. Of course. Thanks for the correction. So your maternal side came outta the old Raj? Indentured into the sugah islands?

    Generally, it’s a paradox and lesson how servitude or even slavery often produces beneficial results. For example, U.S. negro slaves (i.e., a representative aggregate) were far closer to God in their years of slavery than they are now. Didn’t have anything else, had to turn to him, and of course there he was, waiting. You can still taste it in some of the spirituals from those days, which are authentic prayers and occasionally even prophetic. You can’t fake that.

    I’m not arguing for slavery, just pointing out that the ‘liberation’ of tribes and persons typically leads to cultural and individual degeneration. Tangentially, homelessness carries a similar hidden benefit, should one endure with humility, rather than cursing God etc. When we have little or nothing, it’s easier to maintain the direct line to the boss. We don’t obsess on dollahs and deals and glut-shopping status stupidity, we focus on him. Forces us outta our pride/selfishness and into acknowledging dependence upon God.

    I thank him as much for my homeless periods as for the housed times. He knows what he’s doing and often, I don’t.


  33. Will S.

    July 26, 2015 at 4:29 pm

    You got it!

    Indeed, being too wealthy can cause us to become arrogant, and think we don’t need God.

    Then again, being too poor can cause people to rebel in anger against God, if upset at their circumstances.


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