The US military has drawn up plans to fight off an invasion of “evil magic zombies” and other forms of the undead.
Prefaced with the disclaimer “this plan was not actually designed as a joke”, CONPLAN 8888 lays out a strategy “to undertake military operations to preserve ‘non-zombie’ humans from threats posed by a zombie horde”.
The 31-page document, obtained by Foreign Policy, lays out the eight types of zombie adversaries the US military may face in the event of an outbreak.
They range from space zombies to weaponised zombies and even vegetarian zombies, who eat plants rather than humans and groan “grains” instead of “brains”.
Don’t those already exist? They’re called ‘vegans’…
Although not strictly a joke, the document is intended as an exercise in drawing up planning documents for training purposes, rather than a real-life strategy.
Its authors noted that the general public sometimes “mistakenly believes that a fictional training scenario is actually a real plan” so they opted for “a completely-impossible scenario that could never be mistaken”.
Of course, this follows the CDC’s Zombie Preparedness strategy for civilians, and up here, the British Columbian government’s own Zombie Preparedness Week, as well as a similar strategy in Quebec previously, and the matter of the Canadian government’s Zombie Preparedness or lack thereof being debated in our House of Commons a year and a half ago: