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Teenager Takes His Great Grandmother to Prom

02 May

Because she didn’t get to go to her own.

Well, when some evangelical fathers and daughters dance together at ‘purity balls’, perhaps this isn’t completely surprising…

But it’s still weird and way beta.

I went to my high school prom by myself, as did some others; I wasn’t alone. No shame in that; better than taking an ancestor…

And I’m sorry (pardon my non-apology apology Canadianism), but ‘sweet’ as it may be to think of Great-Granny, it’s not her night; it’s yours…

Imagine if this were to catch on?

Sheesh!

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19 responses to “Teenager Takes His Great Grandmother to Prom

  1. Agapoula

    May 2, 2014 at 4:51 pm

    Awww! I really think that is adorable. I know, maybe you do not agree. But how altruistic of this boy, that he was willing to sacrifice “his” night, to give his grandmother a beautiful night. This is so beautiful. Strange, yes, but, beautiful in my opinion. 🙂

     
  2. Agapoula

    May 2, 2014 at 4:54 pm

    It might be “beta”, but it is still so altruistic and beautiful, I think?

     
  3. Will S.

    May 2, 2014 at 4:57 pm

    You’re a girl, so you would say that. 🙂

    ‘Adorable’ doesn’t win the attraction of female peers. I’m sure lots of the girls at the prom thought, “Aw, that’s so sweet!” but none of them would date him subsequently. Strange, indeed; strange does not win female attraction, which is the name of the game.

    His great-grandmother was right to ask him, ‘You sure you don’t want to take some young lady?’, because that’s what you’re supposed to do; she should have thanked him for his kind offer, but refused it, IMO.

     
  4. Agapoula

    May 2, 2014 at 5:05 pm

    “Adorable does not win attraction of female peers”.

    Hmm, this is a cultural thing I think. Because in Mediterranean culture, if a woman gets treated half as nice as the mother of the man, it is a lucky thing!
    If a man is a “mama’s boy”, that means he is Alpha, because he is never going to treat her anywhere near as well as he treats his mother. His mother is on a pedestal, therefore any other women have to really qualify.

    A boy taking his grandmama to prom is strange, but is also saying to other women he does not need them, and they need to qualify for him. Mediterranean women are automatically threatened by the other main woman in the life (mothers, grandmothers) when we see they choose them over us. Which is exactly what this boy demonstrated.
    Do I make sense? 🙂

     
  5. Will S.

    May 2, 2014 at 5:16 pm

    There may be a cultural difference; I’m writing from a Anglo-Saxon / Celtic, British Isles descendents’ cultural perspective. 🙂

    Here, too, young women would feel threatened by a mama’s boy or a great-grandma’s boy; perhaps a difference may be that here, rather than working harder to qualify themselves, they’d be more apt to think he’s not worth the bother. Why compete with mama, or grandma or great-grandma? Leave him to them…

    Yes, perhaps a man who is naturally very alpha can get away with such beta behaviour, but then that’s usually the case, innit? 🙂

     
  6. Agapoula

    May 3, 2014 at 9:58 am

    I watched that “Do creepy guys who are handsome get a free pass?”.
    That was very weird. That man was very creepy. But perhaps it his approach and not his handsomeness? He spoked with a much more confident voice, and had a more cocky demeanor. 🙂

    That is odd that women there would not “compete” with the mother and grand mother. Here it is normal and one of those things women just have to get around.

    And sister in law’s too, women compete with other women full stop. For the man’s attention and affection. One of my friends has a kind of feud with her sister in Law, because the sister in law claims her brother(who is now married with babies), does not spend enough time with her. It is incredibly selfish and child like.

    It is quite normal for a man to be a “mama’s boy” though, I think. If he is not married anyway. Just like unmarried women are very attached to their fathers before marriage.

     
    • Will S.

      May 3, 2014 at 10:05 am

      That’s just it – because he was handsome, confident, well-dressed, cocky, he could get away with stalking, etc.

      Whereas the ordinary guy suffered, just for being a little more shy, a little less self-confident, not dressed quite as well, etc.

      I think part of why North American women may not want to compete with a mama’s boy’s mama, is because they realize they’d have no hope of dominating that guy as much as his mother already does. And womenfolk here are used to ruling their men in a way that no southern European man would tolerate, from what I know of those more ‘macho’ cultures.

       
      • Agapoula

        May 3, 2014 at 10:15 am

        Yes, I guess. I understand you. Though I do find it very alarming that a woman would not read more into the man’s words, no matter how handsome and confident. That guy was a creep, very dangerous.

        It is not much dominating the man. It is in winning the man’s favor here, I think. It is like who is the man’s “favorite girl”. LOL 🙂

        For example, when I first started cooking for my fiance, and I made pastitsio, he said it was good but that his mother makes it with fresh tomatos, and I made it with tinned. Or his halloumi, that I grilled, his mother always did it fried. Whenever I make something that it is not like how his mother does it, he says he is sending me to his sisters so I can look how to cook it his mother’s style.
        At first that really offended me, as every woman has her own style of cooking, but eventually I have learned to accept it and feel it as a blessing to make me more humble.
        I think it does a woman good to accept a mama’s boy, because I always think if he does not love his mama, how will he love you?

         
      • Will S.

        May 3, 2014 at 10:20 am

        Yes, and young women here tend to stupidly follow their impulses rather than think.

        I like your attitude, and I wish it were more common here, as regards ‘winning the man’s favour’. 🙂

        Women here can get furious if you tell them “that’s not how my mother cooks it”.

        A man should indeed love his mother, and yes, if he doesn’t, watch out, that’s certainly a red flag.

        However, ideally, a man should not let any woman, even his mother, dominate him.

         
  7. Agapoula

    May 3, 2014 at 10:36 am

    Well, that is a very spoiled attitude for women to have. And there are women here who have the same. We all have to fight against it. Like I said, my immediate reaction was feeling offended, but we have to push ourselves to get over this things in order to make others happy, and also become better women.

    I agree that a man should not let woman to dominate him, this is another thing women have to stop in themselves. Because I believe just because a woman appears to be submissive or traditionally feminine it does not mean she is submissive at heart. We women have passive agressive and manipulative tendencies, that make it appear we are outwardly submissive, when in actuality we are believing “the woman is neck, that turns the head(the man)”. And that is the kind of dynamic you often see in this kind of culture, where we believe women MUST be submissive, but not submissive at heart. It is basically passive aggressive feminism. Christianity obviously tells us this is wrong, so we must check ourselves and make sure our hearts are not in that place.

     
  8. Will S.

    May 3, 2014 at 10:43 am

    Agreed. If only we could get more women here to understand that…

    Part of the problem, you must appreciate, is that in many churches here, especially evangelical Protestant ones, women rule by proxy; that is, yes the pastors are all men, ditto the elders and deacons, BUT they bend over backwards to please women, by telling them what they want to hear, rather than what they ought to hear. And since that appeals to women, brings them in, they do more of the same, because it gets more women, and thus more money.

    We oppose this, as do our fellow Christian bloggers in these parts. We stand for the older, better, more traditional understanding of the sexes and sex roles that churches used to hold to, and emphasize, strongly. But we are in the minority.

     
  9. Davis M.J. Aurini

    May 3, 2014 at 3:30 pm

    I suspect that part of the difference between Anglo and Latin cultures, is that the mothers in Anglo cultures tend to be more feminist and independent, and thus more likely to dominate their sons; effectively, dressing them in drag. Ergo, “momma’s boy”=”wuss”.

    Latin cultures are a bit more patriarchal, and the mothers are more feminine – the stereotype about Italian mothers always trying to feed you, for instance (showing love in a nurturing way).

    Loving a feminine mother and being a dutiful son is alpha; obeying your mother isn’t. Heck, one of the things that I’ve learned is that a good son eventually comes to replace the role of husband for a mother, keeping her silliness in check when it gets out of hand.

     
  10. Agapoula

    May 3, 2014 at 4:20 pm

    Yes Will, I understand Churches there are like that and is very sad.
    I do not want to get into debate about different denominations as I do not want to offend, but it does seem that is one of the pitfalls of Protestant Church. Our Orthodox Church has take strong stand against Feminism and it’s evils, where as I feel so many Protestant Churchs are adjusting the teaching to “the times”. It is very sad.

    I must ask, what seems to me to be the obvious? (Please do not be offended). But if the Church is allowing women to rule by proxy, does that not indicate it is not a true Church, and perhaps to look into a more traditional one. I am not sure of how Orthodox Churches are in North America, but I cannot imagine any true Orthodox Church, no matter the location, allowing women to rule by proxy.

    (Please do not be offended by my suggesting Orthodox Church to you when you are another denomination.) 🙂 .

     
  11. Agapoula

    May 3, 2014 at 4:29 pm

    Davis M.J. Aurini. Yes, you might be right. I cannot imagine much worse than to marry a man with a feminist mother who is “wussifying” her son. That would be horrible.

    It is funny what you say about Italian mothers always trying to feed the men. Believe me, we Greek Cypriot and Greek women are the same! We maybe pamper our men a little too much. It is a joke here, that a woman is not a good mother if her son wants to leave her before 40 years old. 🙂

    And that does not mean, the men “obey” their mothers, it is just that in patriarchal countries, we are so attached to our men, be they brothers, cousins, sons, nephews, that we feel we always must care for them and cook them food even when they are grown men themselves. It is in no way feminist, it is just we love our men so much. But in return, men take great take care of their mothers, they do not “obey”, but they care and have attachment. A mother-son bond is an incredibly strong bond.

     
  12. Agapoula

    May 3, 2014 at 4:35 pm

    Davis M.J.Aurini, I just went to your blog and tried to follow, but it is no follow option, no?

     
  13. Will S.

    May 3, 2014 at 5:35 pm

    @ Agapoula: the thing is, as you well realize, Protestantism is far from monolithic; indeed, one thing that non-Protestant Christians like to twit us about is our multiplicity of denominations. 🙂

    But, for that matter, there are liberals in Catholicism and Orthodoxy, too, as well as traditionalists, so it isn’t as if either Eastern Orthodoxy or Roman Catholicism are especially monolithic, either. You have the same struggle as we do, even if it takes different forms. 🙂

    As for Protestantism, there are three main streams: mainline or liberal Protestantism, evangelical Protestantism, and confessional Protestantism. The liberal ones are completely sold out to the zeitgeist; the evangelicals, highly sold out; the confessionals, not as much as the others, and some of our confessional churches hold the line quite well (as do some fundamentalist Baptists and others). I do not believe that because other strains of Protestantism are more sold out than confessional Protestantism (to which I hold), that there is anything particularly wrong with Protestantism per se, since they’re the ones who have strayed the most from what Protestantism was at the time of the Reformation. They may not be true churches, but I hold that confessional, Reformational, traditional Protestantism is.

    We don’t argue over the Reformation here – I’m Protestant, but my fellow blogger ElectricAngel here is Catholic – we are a pan-traditionalist Christian site here; we each hold to our respective traditions, but we emphasize our common ground, and choose not to argue theology here. We’d do the same if there were any Eastern Orthodox members of our blog, too – as there are other readers like yourself who are Orthodox.

    Not offended, but you should know that we deliberately choose not to argue such matters here. 🙂

    @ Aurini: Agreed, completely. And I think Agapoula’s Cypriot Greek culture is fairly similar to Latin Mediterranean ones, too, for that matter. It’s a real northern European / southern European cultural split, I think.

    My mother is from the Caribbean, raised Roman Catholic, from a country which though lastly British has also belonged to Spain, and has had French and Portuguese influence as well, and Latin America is not far away either, so my own mother does the show-love-thru-food thing. 🙂

     
  14. Agapoula

    May 3, 2014 at 5:46 pm

    Okay, thank you for the information about Protestantism. I know very little about it. I would not even try to argue theology of different denominations, even elsewhere as I am very not knowing in this matter. And I am not one to argue against tradition, I believe it is vitally important, so I understand you wanting to stick to that, Bravo. 🙂

    I have not seen any of Electricangel’s posts. I will look for them now. Is Electricangel a woman? 🙂

     
  15. Will S.

    May 3, 2014 at 6:53 pm

    No; we’re all men here!

    Here are his posts:

    https://patriactionary.wordpress.com/author/electricangel1978/

     

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