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A good reason not to blind double date

29 Nov

Helping selfish gals take advantage of guys since 2008!

Helping self-centred bitches take advantage of men since 2008!


As this ad helpfully reminds us, when they know each other but not you, they may feel less compunction about plotting together, taking advantage of you for a pair of free meals out (even when they’ve decided to ditch you by appetisers, instead of not letting you fork out the expense for them when they’ve already decided against you, which would be honourable, if they had any such concept), then making a quick get-away – guilt-free!

Also, you may wonder whether you wish to patronise other carsharing businesses that don’t bend over backwards to appeal to the worst instincts in modern young women, rather than this one. Just a thought.

 
14 Comments

Posted by on November 29, 2013 in The Decline, The Kulturkampf

 

14 responses to “A good reason not to blind double date

  1. electricangel

    November 29, 2013 at 3:56 pm

    deplourable! although, Janice is kinda nice looking. Maybe I could ram her (car) with my oversized tank, and exploit the death of her friend for status? involuntary manslaughter game, anyone?

     
  2. Will S.

    November 29, 2013 at 4:01 pm

    Just for you, I’ve gone even further than this ad in anglicising the language, changing two ‘z’s (and that’s ‘Zeds’ not ‘Zees’) in my original post into ‘s’s. 🙂

    Janice is indeed attractive, on the outside (assuming this story is real, which it likely isn’t; created no doubt by a focus group at an ad agency, based on market research, etc.). Any woman who thinks this way is certainly ugly on the inside, though (including the marketing geniuses behind this ad).

    Yes; if her friend is dead, you can deploy funeral game on her, if they let you out of jail to pay respects! 😉

     
  3. Will S.

    November 29, 2013 at 4:18 pm

    Here’s another ad of theirs:

    Using ‘GrrlPower'(TM), Steph there saves the day, gets a kiss despite an awkward drive to his house, then suddenly they’re an item. Aw. (Hi-5s to my fellow Torontonian guy, getting her to drop him home. Props!)

     
  4. Will S.

    November 29, 2013 at 4:24 pm

    And another:

    Saves Em’s stupid stilettos-wearing-in-an-icestorm ass. Probably in more ways than one, knowing downtown Calgary at night… But she wears a leather jacket with metal studs, just to let you know she’s really tough, actually; no victim she, urban Albertan cowgirl. GrrlPower!

     
  5. electricangel

    November 29, 2013 at 5:57 pm

    OK, I’m never going to Calgary, land of the man-jaw. And, as far as T’rounto grrl goes, she’s looking nothing like my one true love, Janice. Do you suppose Janice would let me lie in front of her door so she could wipe her feet on me befoure she enters? Maybe if she would let me take out her trash, I’d have a chance to sniff for used tampons. Or napkins.

    Trying to get into beta frame…

    Seriously, though, Vancouver girl just strikes me as more attractive, and it’s not “yellow fever.” The face just doesn’t seem to map to the bitchy attitude; I could see Calgary girl saying it, but Janice? The T’rounto grrrl seems matched to her story. No one would look at the Alberta hussy in stilettos, anyway.

     
  6. Will S.

    November 29, 2013 at 6:15 pm

    LOL! 🙂

    I agree, Janice is the prettiest, and indeed, the least well-matched, in terms of what one would expect; there is more discordance between her picture and the text attributed to her.

    Yeah, Emillie would look weird in a cocktail dress and stilettoes; her outfit in the pic better suits her ‘personality’, too.

    Stephanie has a nerdy, mousy look I could like, if her jaw was a bit more rounded. She certainly seems the sweetest of the three, too; that is, again, given the text attributed to her. The most thoughtful, actually giving the guy a ride. (Emillie, meanwhile, we don’t even know if she’s straight – her text doesn’t even mention a guy (dyke feminists cheer, just wish there was another woman there too), and her outfit doesn’t even emphasise her boobs in the least! 😉 )

     
  7. Will S.

    November 29, 2013 at 6:29 pm

    Oh, and if you’re going to uber-anglo-canadianise ‘Toronto’ as ‘T’rounto’, shouldn’t ‘Vancouver’ become ‘Vancouvre’? 😉

     
  8. Lena S.

    November 29, 2013 at 7:50 pm

    I dunno you guys, Janice has that weird turned down at the edges smile.

     
  9. Will S.

    November 29, 2013 at 7:53 pm

    Hmm, good point, Lena. Is it a fake smile, perhaps; one of those “I’ll smile for the camera, then I’ll kill him!’ deranged smiles? 😉

     
  10. electricangel

    November 30, 2013 at 2:51 pm

    Vancouvre is the correct spelling, Will. get on that.

    the smile suggests she is seeking to please a man, but is dismayed that what he is proposing is immoural. Highly valuable, and valued, Lena.

    The mousy smile hides a monster, Will. She went to the guy’s place on the first date. her “first kiss” is actually what that great film called L’Ultimo Bacio, and you know he’s using that long hair to do unmentionable things to Stephanie by pleasoure and pain. Stephanie’s sourdid tale matches her picture.

    I think we can all agree there is no redemption for Emillie. she’s three years from acquiring her first cat, which will be a stray she will try to rescue.

     
  11. Will S.

    November 30, 2013 at 5:24 pm

    Oh, so it’s one of those nervous half-smiles, usually accompanied by that lower-lip-biting vulnerability cue that cute girls pull off so well, normally, and melt a guy’s heart! (Doesn’t work on me, because I recognize it, cynical cold analytical bastard that I am.)

    Yes, I realized Steph put out on the first date. 🙂

    Emillie has years of Häagen-Dazs in her future, plus many feral cats, indeed. 🙂

     
  12. electricangel

    December 1, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    They should call her Staphenie.

    The girls who pull of the lower-lip bite aren’t necessarily cute, but it greatly heightens the attraction of any woman. It indicates an inclination to male leadership. Janice might not be pure as the driven snow (or, as Tallulah Bankhead once said, “pure as the driven slush.”), but she will be driven, not drive. I think that’s what makes her ad so incongruous.

    Emillie has years of Haagen-Dazs in her past, from the looks of her. The feral cats will appreciate that when she keels over from a bathetic pill overdose and is unable to feed them their usual fare.

     
  13. Will S.

    December 1, 2013 at 1:50 pm

    🙂

    I think if I encountered the lip-biting thing and it seemed genuine, I could be responsive to it. But I think some women do it self-consciously, rather than unconsciously – and that, I would not like.

     

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