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Flatter-spam

29 Sep

You have to laugh at some of what the spammers come up with; it’s amusing:

I must express some appreciation to this writer for rescuing me from this setting. After scouting through the internet and obtaining principles which were not helpful, I was thinking my entire life was over. Being alive without the presence of answers to the problems you have sorted out by means of your entire blog post is a crucial case, as well as the kind that might have badly affected my entire career if I hadn’t noticed your site. Your main skills and kindness in maneuvering a lot of things was tremendous. I am not sure what I would’ve done if I had not discovered such a stuff like this. I can at this time relish my future. Thank you very much for the reliable and amazing guide. I will not be reluctant to recommend your blog to anyone who wants and needs tips on this issue.

It’s as if someone learned English entirely from reading books (but not language instruction books), and never learned how to construct sentences properly, though they have a wide vocabulary.  (Actually, the sentence construction here is fine; it’s just the use of the words that is improper, in many cases; the spam bots don’t know how to use many words properly.)

How effective is spam, anyway?  Do they even get one in a million people following their links?  I suppose since it costs nothing, even if they only fool that few, it’s enough for them to keep doing it, and so, like car alarms going off due to cars being bumped into or the shock from car doors next to them being slammed, it’s the inevitable pointless background noise of our time.  At least it’s amusing (some of it, anyway).

Feel free to share any amusing examples of spam you’re received.  (David Collard has shared some amusing examples he has had, as has Mark Shea.)

 
20 Comments

Posted by on September 29, 2012 in humour, on the lighter side

 

20 responses to “Flatter-spam

  1. Will S.

    September 29, 2012 at 12:50 pm

    Previously, we had one which provided a link to a recipe for carrot cake in Norwegian (alas, the link is now dead).

     
  2. chesterpoe

    September 29, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    95% of the spam at my blog is flatter-spam. There seems to be one regular spammer who is quite persistent. The name of this spambot being lista da emails. I cannot show any of the spam because I delete them every day. Once he spams again I will post it here (not his stupid links, of course).

     
  3. Will S.

    September 29, 2012 at 2:20 pm

    Ah yes; we get that one, too.

     
  4. a tiny little mouse

    September 29, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    Spam which I get in the form of emails is nothing amusing like that. It’s chiefly Viagra, p*nis enlargement and buying Swiss watches, with a Nigerian inevstments occasionally:)

     
  5. Will S.

    September 29, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    Oh yeah, email spam is still just mostly annoying stuff like that. Blog spam, though, is frequently amusing, at least to me and some others…

     
  6. Daniel de León

    September 29, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    Some of my email spam is amusing. I just laugh wondering “why in the unholy hell would a 19 year old male want a free breast augmentation?”.

     
  7. Will S.

    September 29, 2012 at 6:32 pm

    Ha! Exactly…

     
  8. Will S.

    September 30, 2012 at 7:52 am

    From my other blog:

    More flatter-spam:

    I’ve been exploring for a little for any high quality articles or blog posts in this sort of area . Exploring in Yahoo I at last stumbled upon this website. Reading this information So i am satisfied to exhibit that I’ve a very excellent uncanny feeling I found out just what I needed. I so much indisputably will make certain to do not disregard this website and give it a glance regularly.

    OTOH, there’s also some insult-spam, or rather, back-handed compliment spam, which I find even more funny:

    of course like your website but you need to check the spelling on quite a few of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling problems and I in finding it very bothersome to tell the reality on the other hand I’ll definitely come back again.

    Sophisticated, that…

    Ulysses has documented a couple cases he came across of insult spam.

     
  9. sunshinemary

    September 30, 2012 at 9:52 am

    Here is one spam comment from today:

    Why the show’s about for Gingrich. Still, Santorum’s victories–after appearing heavily outspent by simply Romney in both Southern states–bolster his claim to being one of the most viable conservative different than the an old Massachusetts governor.

    But look at the website it wants to direct you to:

    d antoni
    yoomark.com/News/genital-warts-treatment-4/ x
    b.ceroudup@msn.com
    31.3.225.138

    Not sure what Gingrich and Romney have to do with genital warts treatments.

     
  10. Will S.

    September 30, 2012 at 9:59 am

    LOL!

     
  11. Will S.

    October 8, 2012 at 7:29 pm

    Spam on this post, for some ‘bust-enhancement’ website:

    Today, I went to the beachfront with my children. I found a
    sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!

     
  12. Will S.

    October 22, 2012 at 9:21 pm

    I and also my guys ended up studying the excellent guides located on the website and so all of the sudden developed a terrible suspicion I had not expressed respect to you for those secrets. Most of the men were totally warmed to study all of them and have now clearly been making the most of those things. Thanks for turning out to be indeed thoughtful and for deciding on some exceptional useful guides most people are really wanting to be aware of. My sincere regret for not expressing gratitude to sooner.

     
  13. Will S.

    November 10, 2012 at 4:58 pm

    Received this flatter-spam on one post:

    What’s up to every one, the contents present at this web page are truly amazing for people experience, well, keep up the good work fellows.

    Along with a link to a vaginal tightening and moisturing cream.

     
  14. Will S.

    November 26, 2012 at 9:30 pm

    Not flatter-spam, but some amusing crazy spam:

    After his bring back a advertise sneakily from Rome, Resolve couldn’t position his bags in the airport baggage area. He went to the misspent bags breaking up and told the obsolete lady there that his bags hadn’t shown up on the carousel.

    She smiled and told him not to travail bullets because they were trained professionals and he was in appropriate hands.

    Then she asked Wish, “Has your lacklustre arrived yet?”

     
  15. Will S.

    May 9, 2013 at 6:34 pm

    Flatter-spam from people who can’t write/speak English very well:

    Generally I don’t read article on blogs, however I would like to say that this write-up very forced me to take a look at and do it! Your writing taste has been amazed me. Thank you, very nice post.

    Not sure how flattering such be, though, but hey, whatever… 🙂

     
  16. Will S.

    September 20, 2014 at 8:45 pm

    Reblogged this on Will S.' Sunny Side Blog.

     
  17. Will S.

    September 23, 2014 at 12:20 am

    🙂

     
  18. Will S.

    September 23, 2014 at 9:21 pm

    Magnificent website. A lot of useful info here. I am sending
    it to several buddies ans also sharing in delicious.
    And naturally, thanks to your sweat!

     

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