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The Federal Government re-creates marriage!

11 Sep

It’s true, budding Patriactionaries! (Except for one BIG exception.).

So I was reading this depressing story in the New York Times, about the permanence of student loan debt. I’ve got some quotes for you, and they’re cherce:

At a protest last year at New York University, students called attention to their mounting debt by wearing T-shirts with the amount they owed scribbled across the front — $90,000, $75,000, $20,000.

On the sidelines was a business consultant for the debt collection industry with a different take.

“I couldn’t believe the accumulated wealth they represent — for our industry,” the consultant, Jerry Ashton, wrote in a column for a trade publication, InsideARM.com. “It was lip-smacking.”

Oh, but the ghouls in the debt collection industry are hiring!

Business is booming at ConServe, a debt collection agency in suburban Rochester. The company recently expanded into a neighboring building. The payroll of 420 is expected to double in three years.

It’s not just young people who have trouble with debts:

Patrick Writer of Redding, Calif., received a certificate in computer programming in 2008 from Shasta College, a community college. But he graduated in the midst of the financial crisis and has not been able to find a job as a programmer. He defaulted on $12,000 in federally backed loans in 2009.

“If you can’t make your utilities and your rent, your student loan payments are almost goofy, inconsequential,” said Mr. Writer, who is 57.

But Mr. Writer said he had come to realize what it meant to have a student loan that was guaranteed by the federal government. “It’s the closest thing to debtor prison that there is on this earth,” he said.

How did this situation come about?

There is no statute of limitations on collecting federally guaranteed student loans, unlike credit cards and mortgages, and Congress has made it difficult for borrowers to wipe out the debt through bankruptcy.

All standard stuff. Then there are money quotes like these: “You are going to pay it, or you are going to die with it,” said John Ulzheimer, president of consumer education at SmartCredit.com, a credit monitoring service. You are going to DIE with it, indeed!

But Wait! There’s Relief to be had

It turns out that the NY Times story links to a web page about Income-Based Repayment. In a nutshell: your payments are set at a level according to how much you make annually. You pay that amount, monthly, for 25 years. At the end of 25 years, your debt is paid off, regardless of how much you have paid on the balance. (Warning: loan forgiveness MAY get credited as income.)

There’s also a calculator provided. Using said calculator, I found out that a single person, with 25,000 in income, who has 50,000 in student loan debt and had a 60,000 starting balance and an interest rate of 6%, would have to pay $66 monthly in debt repayment. The same person with an 18,000 salary would have to pay $16 a month in loan payments, for 25 years. (Note that 50K in debt at 6% incurs $250 monthly in interest charges.)

Your opportunity to score a virtual wife has never been better!

So, how could an unmarried Patriactionary profit from this? Well, consider Allison Student, recently graduated, low partner count, all the glow of a youthful 22 years upon her. Sadly, Allison majored in Sociology, took out 70K in debt to do so, and now cannot find a job to pay off her loans. Allison can roll the dice on grad school (in which case, she’s hopeless), or she can move back in with Mom and (well, would any Dad let his little girl get this deep in debt?), uh, family, while she tries to work out a repayment plan. But Allison wants more from life: that’s where you come in.

Without marrying Allison, you can offer her the traditional role of wife and mother. She can work in your house, free, in exchange for the rent and sustenance, performing child-bearing and child-raising duties traditionally the purview of married women. Cleaning, cooking, all that, but unpaid. You see, Allison has turned herself into a debt slave, but she’s a slave to the bankers and the Feds. Your job is to turn her into a faithful, committed, PERSONAL debt slave, by providing a place for her to live in return for her signing a contract. She can even earn  18,000 a year and pay a minimal amount on her loan, if she feels so inspired.

Of course, while she makes this minimal payment, the interest piles up, so the loan balance increases to the skies. She gets further and further behind, meaning she cannot borrow money in her own name, cannot take out a mortgage or a car loan, cannot get a normal credit card. If she ever leaves you, she will need to provide support for herself, which will mean making more money, which will mean the debt payments go WAY up (of course, sadly, child support payments are not income. You’ll need to finesse that one). She has a huge millstone incentive to never leave you!

And it all works, except that you can never marry her. Well, maybe when she turns 47, and the debt drops off. By that time, her chances to EPL you should be minimal, and you can look forward to your old age with a wife you saved from Mammon and the banksters.

 
26 Comments

Posted by on September 11, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

26 responses to “The Federal Government re-creates marriage!

  1. Will S.

    September 11, 2012 at 9:57 am

    Excellent.

    Really, if not racially-based, what’s so abhorrent about slavery, anyway?

    And how does indebtedness differ?

    I for one would be happy to have a concubine, as in days of old. 😉

     
  2. Some guy

    September 11, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    This is a great idea.

    The wife and I are both highly paid professionals who have been tossing around the idea of a concubine or two to help with the chores and for breeding.

    The question is, what are good methods to setup a funnel for identifying, screening, and establishing troubled girls in this kind of relationship?
    [EA: you’re reminding me of the friend who always says he wants to work at a home for wayward girls.]

    As an aside, my personal opinion is that slavery is preferable to welfare because you can mentor the bound person in useful real-world skills like sewing and baking.

    Also, you would want to be careful how this relationship is characterized to the outside world so that it wouldn’t be construed to be one of prostitution or workplace sexual harassment.

     
  3. Doc

    September 11, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    It’s better to make it a year-to-year contract so that you access the younger ones just coming out… They will get in a bidding war for what they why will provide for the money… 🙂 Capitalism at its finest…

     
  4. allamagoosa

    September 11, 2012 at 3:32 pm

    Since I started reading this blog I’ve been appreciating my lack of college debt more and more.

     
  5. electricangel

    September 11, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    @Doc,

    “It’s better to make it a year-to-year contract so that you access the younger ones just coming out…”
    I did not know if I was serious with this post or not. But a Patriactionary cannot support this. Look, the US Federal Government has already done a LOT to damage marriage, and we do support Patriarchy around here. But marriage is SUCH a potential minefield, with financial incentives out the wazoo for women to keep the financial benefits of the arrangement and leave men with none of the companionship (or the sex!) that marriage brings.

    But a virtual debt slave who cannot leave or else be ruined would make quite the committed partner, if you were prepared to treat her as a wife, with kindness, firmness (ha! Where’s Svar when you need him?), guidance, and love. Adding new ones defeats the purpose of reinventing marriage.

     
  6. sunshinemary

    September 11, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    I’m surprised Great Books for Men hasn’t been all over this post! 🙂

     
  7. infowarrior1

    September 11, 2012 at 6:32 pm

    Meanwhile the there is fire in the manosphere:
    http://www.the-spearhead.com/2012/09/11/fire-in-the-manosphere/

     
  8. infowarrior1

    September 11, 2012 at 6:36 pm

    http://www.smh.com.au/digital-life/games/its-the-unreal-wedding-of-the-year-20091126-jt2j.html

    Japanese man marries his virtual girlfriend Nene. Heheheh

    One of the alternative to marriages.

     
  9. David Collard

    September 11, 2012 at 7:44 pm

    You Americans, always reaching for the slave analogy. A young woman in this situation would be a servant. Specifically, a maid. If women won’t be wives, they can be maids.

     
  10. Carnivore

    September 11, 2012 at 8:48 pm

    How did this situation come about?

    That’s part of the story. Back in the day, it was indeed possible to discharge student loan debt through bankruptcy. Bright, although dishonest, students figured out that they could not take a job upon graduating, declare bankruptcy and then get a job in their career starting out without any debt. I believe this was changed sometime in the 80’s after the media made a big stink about it.

    The obvious solution – the federal government should not be in the business of making or guaranteeing student loans – could not be implemented since that would mean shrinking government and decreasing funds to the same bunch of do-nothings who flit between academia and government.

     
  11. an observer

    September 12, 2012 at 2:13 am

    Interesting idea.

     
  12. Tom

    September 12, 2012 at 3:25 am

    This is pure genius. Writing the ads will be half the fun!
    “ARE YOU UNDER 22, SUPER HOT AND MASSIVELY IN STUDENT LOAN DEBT????”.
    As will interviewing them for the role!

    Brilliant. Will let you know how it goes.

     
  13. Chris

    September 12, 2012 at 5:34 am

    Well, this is a bit like paying a student to be an au pair or cleaner. Live in, salary, contract… and in Canada or NZ it could even include sexual favours if she wants to class herself as a sex worker, as prostitution is legal, though it would be placing you in a state of perpetual sin.

    But I absolutey guarantee that any such contract would be seen as illegal and get you sent away for a long, long time. You are subverting that jealous tyrant, the family court

     
  14. Tom

    September 12, 2012 at 5:53 am

    Interesting point. Important to cover all angles. But as outlined above, the idea is that you don’t pay her anything. No “salary”. You pay YOUR rent, you pay YOUR bills. You pay for your meals and she is welcome to cook it for you if she wants. She can stay with you if she wants.She does your laundry if she wants. If she doesn’t want to .. she can leave. Anytime. That’s the beauty of it all. That’s the contract. “The contract” is that there really is no contract, payment, or prostitution going on. Certainly no different than dating a woman and buying her a meal hoping she will have sex afterwards. If letting a woman live with you and enjoy the benefits here is “prostitution” …. then there is “prostitution” going on in every restaurant TONIGHT! You don’t see women objecting to that arrangement. Just turn on a jewelry commercial.

    THE MESSAGE:
    “Surprise her with a diamond and you will get ALL of her affection on a day you normally would not.”

    A man won’t ever go to jail for that.
    Even though it makes her a whore.

    But you don’t pay a whore to fuck you.
    You pay her to LEAVE.
    That’s what “divorce” is.
    It’s exactly like paying the whore to leave.

    You don’t pay her in this case.
    If she leaves , she gets nothing but the freedom to support herself.

    Fascinating concept, this…….

     
  15. David Collard

    September 12, 2012 at 8:01 am

    I have a woman I keep around. She does domestic tasks and provides sexual services and companionship. I call her my “wife”.

    Do you think this idea will catch on?

     
  16. electricangel

    September 12, 2012 at 9:17 am

    @DC,

    I have a woman I keep around. She does domestic tasks and provides sexual services and companionship. I call her my “wife”.

    And

    If women won’t be wives, they can be maids.

    So many of these young women have turned themselves into unmarriageble creatures that “wife” is simply not in the realm of possibility. It’s not just the partner count (those are untrustworthy no matter what contract you write!), but the debt: they bring a negative dowry, and it’s a rare degree that brings a high-enough-paying job to, uh, provide any servicing of that debt. So they cannot take time off to have children until the debt is gone, and when the debt is gone, so is their fertility. If one makes them an explicit wife, one gains responsibility for payments on the debt, and there’s still the EPL and Divorce Theft risks. Better to use the debt as your anti-EPL sledgehammer, and treat her as a wife until you CAN marry her, at 47 (maybe 48, because the debt forgiveness is going to require another bankruptcy when she cannot pay the taxes on the amount).

     
  17. electricangel

    September 12, 2012 at 9:21 am

    @Tom,

    But as outlined above, the idea is that you don’t pay her anything. No “salary”. You pay YOUR rent, you pay YOUR bills. You pay for your meals and she is welcome to cook it for you if she wants. She can stay with you if she wants.She does your laundry if she wants. If she doesn’t want to .. she can leave. Anytime.

    Exactly. This was traditional wifehood in the 50s. It might have been a bad deal for the women; I don’t know. But it did not lead to the social disorder we have now.

    But you don’t pay a whore to fuck you.
    You pay her to LEAVE.

    It seems you’ve read through our “Homage to Quiplinks”, there, Tom. Welcome aboard!

     
  18. electricangel

    September 12, 2012 at 9:31 am

    @Carnivore,

    Back in the day, it was indeed possible to discharge student loan debt through bankruptcy. Bright, although dishonest, students figured out that they could not take a job upon graduating, declare bankruptcy and then get a job in their career starting out without any debt. I believe this was changed sometime in the 80′s after the media made a big stink about it.

    Yes. It was the early 80s, and Baby Boomers were busy going through the revolving door of life on someone else’s push. The big problem then was grad school, specifically law school (if they paid attention in bankruptcy class, that tuition was well spent.) Just like the Boomers were uncontrolled with their drinking and drug use, and so caused the drinking age to rise to 21 everywhere (but after they had all turned 21, of course!), changing a law that had been set at 18 in my state since the end of Prohibition, their scamming the system benefited them (well, the early boomers) and the bill was passed to later generations.

    I hope when they go to sell their overpriced houses and no one can buy that they get a moment’s reflection. Not likely, but we can dream.

     
  19. Some guy

    September 12, 2012 at 9:56 am

    To screen for these girls, you could offer free “coping with college loans” presentations at your local colleges. Show up looking like money: suit, shined shoes, shiny watch, clean cut, washed car. Cover some debt-repayment techniques, like the snowball method. Also instill dread by covering that student loans can’t be dismissed by bankruptcy and that you can’t retire until they are paid back. Be sure to pass around sheets that collect contact info, name, major, anticipated student debt. Ping-back the hotties in trouble.

    Organize it as an educational charity that also sells an ebook and you’ll get some tax benefits and revenue from this operation too. If it is slick enough, the ebook might just cover the costs of the concubine.

     
  20. electricangel

    September 12, 2012 at 10:00 am

    @Chris,

    You are subverting that jealous tyrant, the family court
    Yes, they don’t like that. For your viewing pleasure, here are two court buildings, in Manhattan’s civic center. First, the court building you’ve seen a million times on Law and Order, built in the 1910s/20s, before feminism:

    Now, the “family” court, recently empowered by NY State’s being the LAST state to adopt No-fault divorce.

     
  21. Will S.

    September 12, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    @ EA: The architecture is telling; the first classical, associated with ancient, noble, high ideals about justice; the second, a modern, ugly, bureaucrat / technocratic monstrosity, reflecting the modern-day-Stalinist mindset of its occupants…

     
  22. an observer

    September 12, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    If the idea works, why stop at just one?

    Any that don’t work out, get turfed.

     
  23. David Collard

    September 13, 2012 at 1:56 am

    an observer

    A man should have several women servicing him. I came home on my last workday one year. There was my mother-in-law minding one of my children. The cleaning lady was at work. Then my wife came home and cooked my dinner.

    Other times I used to have women booking my planes, women waiting on me on the planes (stewardesses), and a woman (wife) to greet me at home after my trip and launder the clothes I brought home.

    This is good. And all men deserve it.

     

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