People Who Don’t Join Facebook are Suspicious, Say Pundits

09 Aug

Comrade, have you signed up for Facebook yet?

Everyone’s doing it; why haven’t you?

If you’re a Facebook holdout, or have chosen to abandon the social media hangout for any number of reasons, be prepared to be labeled a misfit — or worse.

The net has been abuzz this week about a story attributed to a German newsmagazine in which a psychologist concluded that accused killers Norwegian Anders Breivik and Colorado theatre gunman James Holmes’s slim social media presences were suspicious.

“Not having a Facebook account could be the first sign that you are a mass murderer,” is how tech news site slashdot summed up Der Taggspiegel’s story.

With a global population of seven billion and about 955 million registered Facebook user — technological and economic barriers notwithstanding — that’s a scary proposition.

Yes, the six billion non-Facebook users, of the seven billion people on Earth, are all potential mass murderers…

However, an immediate concern may be the weight placed on the social network by employers.

While the Maryland Department of Public Safety and Correctional Services have backed off earlier demands for the Facebook passwords of workers to check their profiles for troubling behaviour, it’s still seen as a tool to vet potential employees.

“Anecdotally, I’ve heard both job seekers and employers wonder aloud about what it means if a job candidate doesn’t have a Facebook account. Does it mean they deactivated it because it was full of red flags? Are they hiding something?” asked a writer.

Any employer who wouldn’t consider me just because I don’t do Facebook, I wouldn’t want to work for.  (Moreover, haven’t any of these employers heard of the specifically career-focused networking site LinkedIn?)

And the dating game tells a similar story.

Slate advice columnist Emily Yoffe told one woman: “I’m fine with people not having a Facebook page if they don’t want one. However…. If you’re of a certain age and you meet someone who you are about to go to bed with, and that person doesn’t have a Facebook page, you may be getting a false name. It could be some kind of red flag.”

No, you stupid slut; how about not sleeping with someone you just met?  Gosh, what a dumb bitch…

For the digital generation, that kind of sentiment is understandable, said Queens University media professor Sidneyeve Matrix.

“Facebook really is the way that you vet folks that you like, you cross paths and socialize with,” she said. “There’s a lot of common sense wisdom there, because we do want to vet people.”

I’m not interested in anything someone named ‘Sidneyeve Matrix’ has to say; I can’t take her at all seriously.  ‘Matrix’ is not a name; ‘Sidney-Eve’ may be one, but I’ll bet she chose to make her first name more ‘cool’ by de-hyphenating it and lower-casing the ‘E’ in ‘Eve’…  In any case, sorry, Miss ‘Matrix’; I see no ‘common sense’ at work here; neither, thus far, do any of the commenters on the Star piece, who think this piece is ridiculous, which it is.  (The article author’s name, Ashante Infantry, is just as ridiculous, and moreover, she sounds like a real piece of work…)

Unbelievable that this passes for journalism today…  In the business section, no less…  {Sigh}


30 responses to “People Who Don’t Join Facebook are Suspicious, Say Pundits

  1. okrahead

    August 9, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    Considering the recent performance of Facebook’s stock and the wealth degradation its founders have suffered since its disastrous IPO, perhaps Zuckerman “commissioned” these pieces himself to help shore up the business. After all, if you have to be on Facebook to get a job or get laid, then the stock would surely go up…. Or am I just being paranoid?

  2. Will S.

    August 9, 2012 at 12:07 pm

    No; sounds plausible enough to me! 🙂

  3. Carnivore

    August 9, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    I deleted my Facebook account earlier this year since I never used it. Some friends kept on harping on it; that’s why I created the account in the first place. Never posted anything on it and didn’t care to read the crap they were posting about their day-to-day. Rather come here and read something interesting. 😉

  4. Will S.

    August 9, 2012 at 2:07 pm

    Thanks Carnivore! 🙂

    Yeah, I never joined Facebook, and have never regretted it. I’ve had friends trying to get me on it. I waste enough time in the blogosphere and other sites, as it is. 🙂

  5. Vicomte

    August 9, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    I’ve never had one.

    As a twenty-two year-old man, I can say this definitely makes me some kind of deviant.

    This is not necessarily a bad thing.

  6. Will S.

    August 9, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    It does make you a deviant, alright. 😉

    But in a good way, IMO.

  7. chesterpoe

    August 9, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    I heard about this on Red Eye last night (yes, I sometimes watch FOX News) and got a laugh out of it then. After reading this, especially the part about sleeping with someone whose real name you may not even know, it just makes it more of a joke. Facebook has become what those conspiracy nuts feared with RFID chips. Perhaps it is time for me to ditch mine; just to spite the system. I never really use it anyway.

  8. Will S.

    August 9, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    Be a rebel, Chesterpoe; break your chains! 😉

  9. Will S.

    August 9, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    I tried watching Red Eye, once; it was painfully unfunny. Fox can’t duplicate Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert, and they shouldn’t try. Greg Gutfeld is no Jon Stewart.

  10. chesterpoe

    August 9, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    It was especially bad since it had Ann Coulter on… dear God. Good thing she kept her trap shut. Anyway, I thought you might want to check this out.

  11. Will S.

    August 9, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    Ick; I can’t stand Ann Coulter.

    I’ll take a look.

  12. slumlord

    August 9, 2012 at 8:21 pm

    I am just not interesting enough to have a facebook account.

  13. Will S.

    August 9, 2012 at 8:24 pm

    No; you’re just not flaky and superficial enough – which differentiates most of us men from the women, many of whom are that flaky and superficial… 😉

  14. G-man

    August 9, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    I am forced to have a facebook account as these are the only preferred ways my friends communicate.

  15. Will S.

    August 9, 2012 at 9:21 pm

    That sucks.

    It’s true that some of my friends prefer to communicate that way, and I sometimes miss hearing about things because they forget to email or phone me, but I consider that their problem, not mine.

  16. MarkyMark

    August 9, 2012 at 9:40 pm

    I have a Facebook account, but I hardly use it; if I go on once a week, that’s a lot! I got the account because: 1) the behest of my brother; and 2) to see what folks are up to. I like checking out chicks who I had crushes on 20-25 years ago and seeing how they turned out. One, shall we say, is NOT as cute as she used to be; I’ll put it that way.

    Having said that, I don’t friend every Tom, Dick, & Harry out there. I have a rule: to ‘friend’ someone, I either have to know the guy or gal personally, or I have to have known them personally. IOW, I don’t accept or seek someone as a ‘Facebook friend’ unless I know these people. I can’t see the point of having virtual friends.

  17. Will S.

    August 9, 2012 at 10:13 pm

    I can see the value for families to communicate with each other using Facebook. I just don’t like the other uses of it, esp. for girls to attention-whore, and end up more vain when they have pedestalizing beta nice guys hanging off their every words and giving “Ugogirl!” props to them.

  18. Breeze

    August 10, 2012 at 3:56 am

    955 million accounts =/= 955 million users. You have to account for people with more than one account, such as a business and personal account, or businesses that have FB accounts (which seems almost every business), trolls, accounts created to market something, and silly accounts (a chick I know created an account for some of her farm animals as a running joke), etc. I wouldn’t be surprised if the actual number of different FB users is half that they posted.

    Also, when you delete your account its still there, just deactivated, and is still (as far as I know) counted in the stats.

  19. Chris

    August 10, 2012 at 7:29 am

    Only have it to keep up with daughter and as a place to deposit what they would probably consider hate speech. Like most of the posts at my place.

  20. Will S.

    August 10, 2012 at 9:57 am

    @ Chris: Better make sure you don’t run afoul of their policies, or your account might get terminated.

  21. Will S.

    August 10, 2012 at 10:01 am

    @ Breeze: That’s a good point; even museums and art galleries have Facebook pages, as well as businesses, and as you point out, people having more than one, etc. So indeed, the number of actual, individual users of Facebook may be far smaller than the 955 million accounts…

  22. LS

    August 10, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    You know who else didn’t have a Facebook page?


  23. Will S.

    August 10, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    Ooh, very suspicious!

  24. The Gentleman Poet

    August 10, 2012 at 9:45 pm

    Unplug. I tried to have normal conversations and discussions on fb for nearly a year and a half–what a waste of energy. Unplug, no one regrets unplugging.

  25. Will S.

    August 10, 2012 at 9:46 pm

    Hear, hear!

  26. yooknohoo

    August 12, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    Given that Facebook accounts aren’t under the control of their creators all that much, and lack in-person support (<a href=""among other issues), how can NOT joining be all that suspicious? I’d rather use social media that gives its users more personal account control than social media with a larger presence, if I ever were to be a heavy user. If all they can resort to is half-assed hyperbolic profiling (mass murderers? really?) to shore up support for Facebook, there’s a bigger problem than lack of users.

    lol at that article and those names…if I were to somehow combine Sidneyeve Matrix and Ashante Infantry, would it sound better or worse than Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade?

  27. Will S.

    August 12, 2012 at 5:10 pm

    I like okrahead’s conspiracy theory, that this is Zuckerberg’s desperate attempt to salvage his company’s share prices…

    Um, that’s a crazy name…

  28. infowarrior1

    December 4, 2012 at 3:44 am

    If you are forced to use facebook. NEVER post your photos or personal details there.


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