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Boyfriend job application cover letter, hopefully a joke

03 Sep

The Daily Mail brings a story about some guy who responded to some girl’s moaning on Facebook that she’d like a boyfriend, by typing up the following ‘application letter’ and sliding it under her door at their school:

Amusing, but hopefully just a joke on his part, because how beta that would be if not…

One can of course draw analogies between relationships and jobs, but the cover letter equivalents would be the asking for a phone number / opening line / etc.; the job interview equivalent would be the first date, and the series of dates leading either ideally to marriage, or to a break-up, would be like a job’s probation period…  Shacking up together without getting married would be like taking a contract position, while marriage would be like a permanent hire.

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13 Comments

Posted by on September 3, 2012 in humour, on the lighter side

 

13 responses to “Boyfriend job application cover letter, hopefully a joke

  1. okrahead

    September 3, 2012 at 4:55 pm

    Cuddling? Performing oral sex? Prepare own meals? Hope to “work with” her friends and family? Does that mean that he’ll cuddle with and perform oral sex on them as well? I notice that the longest discussion point is his acumen with video games, apparently because this is what the female in question desires. Now I imagine the sort of female that might sit around playing video games for hours on end…. I imagine her appearance and hygiene… I imagine a “man” who volunteers that he would like to perform that act upon her…. and I find myself wondering what there is left to preserve in our “civilization.”

     
  2. Will S.

    September 3, 2012 at 6:28 pm

    Exactly why I hope this is a joke. The guy is advertising his beta, subservient nature…

     
  3. Will S.

    September 3, 2012 at 7:39 pm

    The whole frame is of course wrong; it’s not a question of applying for a job with a woman, because that puts a man totally in a subservient role, as this letter demonstrates where he tells all what he can do for her. That kind of grovelling may unfortunately be required in the working world, begging some HR person to notice how good a slave you’ll be for the company, but in relationships, it doesn’t work for a man to behave thus.

    Better, instead, to lay out who you are, what you’re about, where you’re planning on going, and inviting her along for the ride, if she’s interested.

     
  4. chesterpoe

    September 4, 2012 at 12:16 am

    Wow, I would never do something like that. What self-respecting man would? There are so many things wrong with that “application” that it would take a long time to wrote them all out, so I will summarize. “I am a grovelling, obedient, feminist ‘male’ who will do anything to find a woman, any woman, so long as I have somewhere to put my johnson.” He was probably some scrawny White man and the woman was probably a butch Black woman.

     
  5. Will S.

    September 4, 2012 at 12:20 am

    LOL!

    BTW, is that a partial Golden Dawn symbol in your new Gravatar? Intriguing.

     
  6. chesterpoe

    September 4, 2012 at 12:26 am

    It is actually the whole Golden Dawn symbol layered with the leader/founder of Romania’s ‘Legion of the Archangel Michael’, Corneliu Zelea Codreanu.

     
  7. Will S.

    September 4, 2012 at 12:29 am

    Ah.

    It looks a bit different, though, from that shown in the Wikipedia entry:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Dawn_(Greece)

     
  8. chesterpoe

    September 4, 2012 at 12:32 am

    I had flipped it 90* to the right so that the flag’s original width became its length.

     
  9. Will S.

    September 4, 2012 at 12:33 am

    Ah.

     
  10. Will S.

    September 4, 2012 at 2:50 am

    We got a spam comment on here that almost could be a real comment.

    Directing us to this site, the ostensible human on the other end (maybe it really is one) said:

    its look really funny.then girls feel so proud of them self’s.

    Well, it wasn’t written by a girl (at least, if she was telling the truth, she didn’t write it), but yes, alas, this sort of thing does tend to inflate a young woman’s ego, which is the last thing on Earth a young woman needs…

    Good job, spambot! If you manage to write something even more relevant, I might even let it through…

     

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